Juan in a Million

2300 E Cesar Chavez Street
Austin, TX 78702
(512) 472-3872

http://www.juaninamillion.com/

Being a single woman, I find myself out late some weekends consuming a little too much and having a little too much fun. When you wake up the next morning, slightly hung over, in last night’s eyeliner, smelling of stale alcohol and cigarettes, with a furry feeling in your mouth, all you can do is take a hot shower and have a big hearty breakfast. When I lived in Illinois, after a late night, we’d go for corned beef hash with a side of bacon and sausage. You can never have too much meat and salt on Sunday morning. But when I moved to Texas, I discovered a wonderful, and previously undiscovered gem that most of the rest of the country has never experienced, Mexican Breakfast (cue the angelic music). I’m not talking breakfast tacos, or crappy juevos rancheros, I’m talking migas, eggs smothered in queso, chiles, refried beans, pan fried potatoes.. Sorry.. I’m drooling just thinking about it.

I’ve popped around town eating Mexican Breakfast at various taquerrias or other Latin eating establishments, but since I’ve moved back, I’ve discovered and become a regular Sunday morning patron of Juan in a Million. Now, Juan’s is way out on the east side of town. So if you’re scared by the colorful neighborhoods, you might want to stick with other places closer to downtown, but for the adventurous, Juan is a diamond in the rough. There’s a small parking lot, but I usually park in the street. Don’t worry, its broad daylight, you’re precious Death Cab for Cutie CDs will be fine. The outside of the building isn’t much to speak of, in fact, the inside of the building isn’t much to speak of either. There’s an indoor dining area, a side dining area, a huge covered patio, and a third indoor dining area attached to the other side of the patio. In other words, there is a ton of seating, and every time I’ve been there, I’ve had to wait. This place is always packed. I usually opt for the patio if it looks like I can edge someone out of a table, but the inside’s not bad either.

Now onto the food. The migas are good. Typical fluffy eggs, tomatoes, onions and tortilla strips with some cheese. It comes with a side of decent beans and potatoes. Not the best I’ve ever had, but when you’re hung over, they taste FABULOUS. I’ve also had the "DON JUAN" - El Taco Grande. It’s a huuuuge breakfast taco with eggs, potatoes, cheese, and bacon wrapped in a perfectly toasted tortilla. When covered in sour cream and guacamole the Don Juan becomes a filling and tasty way to start off the day. One will do you, unless you’ve got a huge appetite, then I’d suggest 2. But what keeps me coming back to Juan, is the Con Queso Breakfast. To me, this is the quintessential Mexican breakfast. Two scrambled eggs covered in queso with a side of carne guisada (don’t tell me what’s in it, I don’t want to know), and the same decent beans and potatoes. I don’t know what it is about the Con Queso breakfast that continues to lure me in. The queso, carne guisada, beans, and potatoes all taken separately are all decent but nothing special. Combined together, their harmonic frequencies of goodness combine together to make one super powered, hang-over curing breakfast that is hard to pass up.

Laura's note: I agree, a great Mexican Breakfast. Definitely a hangover cure for someone who doesn't have much planned for the rest of the day - you will be so full and heavy you won't feel like moving very much after the experience. The margaritas are ok, not spectacular. The location is not nearly as bad as Mariah made it out to be. Oh yeah, and they've expanded in the past couple of years and have a patio. But still, on Saturday and Sunday early afternoons you might be waiting quite a while with a load of UT students and Austinites who also participated in general weekend debauchery and are in "the know." If you aren't into waiting in lines or debauchery, try them out on a weeknight. They do casual lunch/dinner as well as breakfast. Laura - 8.5

Bottom Line: Awesome Mexican Breakfast

Mariah - 10 (In honor of Murphy - You rock!)

The Oasis

6550 Comanche Trl

Austin, TX

(512) 266-2442

http://www.oasis-austin.com/

So my crazy week of dating continued on Sunday with Bachelor #4. After the late night with Bachelor #3 the previous evening and the late night with Bachelors #1 and #2 before, I was psyched to sleep in on Sunday and recover. I was glad when Bachelor #4 suggested a quiet afternoon.. at a kids birthday party! Apparently his co-worker's kid was turning 3 and they were having a BBQ. And being the food whore that I am, I will always readily agree to eat someone else's tasty homemade BBQ. We made our way up to the ends of the Earth or Cedar Park, who's mayor I happen to work with (remind me never to move to Cedar Park). You know when the tollway ends, you've reached parts unknown. I swear I saw a dragon somewhere around Avery Ranch Rd.

All through college and even into my mid-twenties I was very ambivalent to children. I liked them alright, but I wasn't sure if having offspring was the right path for me. I figured I would get to it later. Well now later has arrived, and surprising, when I turned 28, something crazy in my brain (or my ovaries) switched on. My biological clock started not just ticking, but screaming at me. So the party was nice but there were noisy kids everywhere. It reminded me again why I don't have any little rugrats yet. I am at least temporary inoculated from the crazy hormones my womanly parts and spewing into my body.

We made our excuses after eating the yummy BBQ chicken and headed back to our original destination the Oasis. Since I live at the south end of 620 and the party was at the north end of 620, we figured we'd take the opportunity to see the sunset at The Oasis. Now I don't know if you've ever been to the Oasis or if you've been in the past 2 years, but its TOTALLY different. They've expanded about 2,000% into a totally new building. The new Oasis is like a catacomb of staircases, landings, patios, and crazy bronze statues. And it is Spectacular. Perched atop Lake Travis, The Oasis probably has the best view in the State of Texas. Seriously. The network of patios allow you the perfect vantage point to watch the shimmering water and the sunset over the Hill Country. I can't express to you in words how amazing the location of the restaurant is.

The food, however, is another issue. The food is awful. Practically inedible. I've had overcooked, undercooked, and just plain tasteless food there. The menu consists mainly of staple Tex-Mex bar food. Nachos, burgers, enchiladas, fajitas, that sort of thing. I chose to have my birthday dinner there, mostly to enjoy the view and I was thoroughly unimpressed. But, man, that view was spectacular. It makes you forget how awful the food is. What the Oasis does do well, however, are margaritas. They make a pretty tasty Cazadores margarita. Totally drinkable while you sit on the patio and watch the sunset.

Bachelor #4 and I happened to go on Sunday. We opted not to eat as we'd both had the food and decided we weren't THAT hungry. So we went up to the bar on the top floor. The bar isn't just any old bar, its an entire dance floor, seating, a huge stage, and a large patio section. The band was playing great salsa music and people were dancing away. Made me wish I had remembered my salsa lessons from when I was bored in Fort Worth. We sat by the huge glass windows overlooking the lake and watched the sunset while drinking margaritas, and listening to the peppy salsa music. That's the way the Oasis should be enjoyed.

Bottom Line: Crappy food, INCREDIBLE atmosphere, and the margaritas rock

Mariah: 8.5 (A 5 for food and a 12 for atmosphere so lets split the difference)

Fino

2905 San Gabriel Street

Austin, TX 78705

(512) 474-2905

http://www.finoaustin.com/

Oh, my fellow foodies, how busy life gets sometimes. I feel bad for abandoning you these past 2 weeks to take care of the banalities of life (like school projects and work), but sometimes you have to put down the things you love in order to finish the things you don’t. But rest assured, I didn’t deny myself the only pleasure I seem to be getting these days, food (aside from the dates I had this weekend, but I don’t kiss and tell)! I happened to go to two restaurants in the last few weeks that need reviewing. I’ll start with the latest, the one new restaurant I went to last week, Fino.

Fino is actually located in an area I know really really well, at 29th and San Gabriel. When I was in college, I spent a year living in a houseful of men, at my engineering fraternity’s house, which as it happened, was nicknamed “The House” (sounds ominous, right?, well if you spent any time in that bathroom, you’d think so too). The House was an old 1930’s west campus house with bad plumbing, bad walls, bad smells, but oh was it fun place to live. The yard was surrounded in thick, tall bamboo and we used to have these incredible keggers there. Think make out rooms, 2-story beer bongs, and a huge yard to throw up in when you’d had enough. That place was made to be a party house! It was located right at the intersection of 29th and San Gabriel. We used to get all liquored up and walk across Granite Café, the local high end restaurant and pretend to spend money we didn’t have on food we never bought. But they did have a nice patio and for a college student Granite Café was about as swanky as it got.

Flash forward 8 year (yikes!!) to groovy 2008. Lee invited me out for dinner and since I knew I’d need a break from all the school work I’ve been doing I said sure. Let me tell you, if I wanted to relive my college years of pretending to eat at Granite Café I still could, because the place hasn’t changed one bit. Now don’t get me wrong, its really a nice location. Its on the second floor of a nice brick shopping center and basically takes up the whole top of the shopping center. A generous wrap around veranda with tons of outdoor seating, lovely bamboo blinds to keep the sun out, large wicker furniture, and a nice breeze wafting in from Shoal Creek, gives the restaurant has a nice tropical atmosphere. The inside (where I have to admit I’ve never spent much time), seems nice and upscale. Large picture windows bring the tropical atmosphere into the interior of the restaurant while a large bar creates an open space that is segmented by small screens for more privacy.

I sat down and immediately ordered a sangria, the house specialty. It came in a smaller glass than I was hoping, but was a really amazing drink. Little pieces of apples and oranges danced with ice cubes in the ruby liquid. The red wine was neither too sweet nor too bitter. Very tasty. At that point Lee came walking up looking like a Vietnamese Mexican (sorry bud, you’ve been spending waay too much time in San Antonio lately). But we settle and I ordered tapas, calamari and crab bourekia, and decided to get the paella (which requires 30 minutes to cook, btw). Well, technically we only ordered a crab bourekia but a few minutes later what should happen to show up but calamari. We waited a few minutes for the waitress to come back but when she didn’t we decided to dig in. I was hungry and I’ll never turn down good calamari!

The calamari was fresh and the breading was decent. Nothing too spectacular. It was fried to a perfect golden color though. There’s nothing I hate more than overfried calamari. But the sauce. Well, the “smoked paprika mojo picon” sauce was AWFUL. Bleh. I think they mixed tomato sauce with liquid smoke and served it up for us. Avoid if at all possible. By then the waitress had come back and when we pointed out that we had actually ordered the bourekia she said “My bad!” and the bourekia appeared soon after. The crab bourekia wasn’t all that great either. The phyllo was initially crisp and flaky and the lump Crab, mascarpone & roasted peppers filling tasted good but the whole package together turned out being kind of oily and lackluster.

The paella came out soon after which surprised me, I was expecting it take a lot longer to cook. But then, I was on my 3rd glass of sangria and was enjoying the company. Now, after having the less than stellar tapas, I wasn’t expecting much from the paella. Maybe it was because my guard was down, or maybe it really was that good, but the paella knocked my socks off. The octopus, calamari, and mussels (and maybe sausage but I don’t remember) were cooked perfectly in the moist saffron-tomato infused rice. It had a slightly smoky flavor and the texture of the rice was incredible. Not at all gummy like some paella’s I’ve had, and definitely not dry. Each grain of rice was plumped to Portuguese perfection. I totally glutted myself on it. And to be honest the portion was huge. It is meant for 2 people, but 3 people could easily not finish it and with appetizers it would be the perfect amount for 4 people (if you’re cheap like me).

After the incredible paella, we decided to chance dessert and ordered the lemon pot de crème. I love creamy, lemon desserts. When it comes time to order dessert, I don’t want something heavy and chocolaty; I want something light and tart. I have the mis-begotten belief that it makes my after dinner breath smell better (but I know it’s a lie). Now this lemon pot was perfectly acceptable. It was a great consistency, a nice lemon flavor, not to tart, not too sweet. But if you’re looking for an amazing lemon pot experience, Wink’s lemon cream filled sugar balls (no comments) are soo much better. What was amazing about the fino lemon pot were the Basil-Mint sugar dusted blackberries on top. Basil, mint, sugar, and blackberries are MEANT to live together in harmony in my stomach and that’s where they went. Paired with the lemon pot they were amazing, but there were only 4 of them! If the whole top were covered in those awesome blackberries I’d have given it a much better score.

Overall: Wonderful patio, awesome paella & sangria, stay away from the tapas.. please..

Mariah – 7.5 (9 if you ONLY order sangria & paella and get them to throw in the blackberries)

Mars Restaurant and Bar

Mars Restaurant and Bar
1400 S. Congress
Austin, Texas 78704
http://www.marsaustin.com/

Let me start by telling you how I met Elena.

I got an email from a former Italian coworker of mine asking me to show a new to Austin Italian professor around last fall. The former coworker, Walter, is an easy going fun guy in his fifties, so naturally I assumed that this Italian professor would be around his age.

I was preparing in my mind for activities to take such a person to. It was late October and the whole 6th street on Halloween debacle seemed entirely inappropriate, so I searched my brain and decided that a simple brunch was a good introductory session. This would allow us to size each other up and figure out if a relationship was going to beneficial for friendship, but more likely networking or general about-town knowledge.

The shock came when Elena showed up at my house as a drop dead gorgeous extremely friendly and fashionable grad student of 28. Not at all the powersuited serious 50 something professor I was expecting. I guess something was lost in translation between Walter and me.

The other thing that was lost in translation was that Walter had never actually met Elena.

Flash forward to April. Walter’s time in the US is complete and sadly for us, he is about to go back to Italy. He wants to take a drive down to Austin from DFW to meet and greet his fellow Milano over lunch, and I’m in charge of making arrangements.

It’s a beautiful Texas spring day, the sun is shining and the only requirement I can think of is that I do not want to be stuck indoors. I discuss a few options with Elena and decide on Mars on South Congress. The environment is right and the patio is great. I’ve been there once before and found the food not quite worth all the hype, but decent and I believe it will do for the purpose.

Unfortunately, when Walter shows, we give him the options of Italian, American or Asian and he quickly vetoes Italian and Asian. We convince him to try Mars anyway, marketing it as Asian infused American cuisine, and that if he doesn’t like the menu, we can venture down to South Congress Café.

When we arrive, South Congress Café has an hour long wait, so he reluctantly concedes to Mars. I’m feeling a little guilty at this point, after all the guy did drive 3 hours just to have lunch with us and I’m forcing him to eat a cuisine he despises, but I quickly shrug off the nagging guilt feeling when I spot several items on the limited, but adequate lunch menu that I think will do for even the most staunch Asian food hater.

Walter requests that we eat inside and part of me dies right then and there. I console myself with the reassurance that I have the rest of the afternoon to enjoy the sun.

As we are seated, Lach (my boyfriend for all of you new readers) begins to look around and make running commentary on the décor. He says he’s not sure if he’s in a restaurant, a nightclub or a fetish shop. I see where he’s coming from. The black and red interior comes off as quite gothic, the kind of décor I expected and failed to see at Prague. They are trotting a fine line between stylish and overdone, but somehow seem to pull it off. Perhaps it’s the location, type of cuisine, absence of gargoyles and other cheesy relics, or the accommodating demeanor of the staff that day that seals the deal. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why it works, but it works.

We order a bottle of white wine and hummus/baba ganough to start. The starter comes with grilled flat bread with bits of red pepper infused. It’s just the slightest bit spicy and goes well with the hummus. The baba ganough, on the other hand, is something I could have done without. It tastes to me a bit slimy. Perhaps from too much oil or maybe overcooked eggplant? We munch as we pick out our courses and request more bread.

I choose the Mizuna and Tatsoi Salad with pickled onions, crispy wontons and creamy sesame garlic dressing. Elena decides on Salmon with soy wasabi aioli, sticky rice and vegetable du jor. Walter avoids too much Asian with Wagyu Steak and Frites, and Lach picks the Marinated Tenderloin Salad with croutons, Thai Basil, mint and kim chee vinaigrette.

Our food arrives within a decent amount of time and the portion sizes are not oversized. My salad is fresh and green and the onions are slightly sweet and not overpowering. The crispy wontons remind me of being a kid and overindulging on foods that are terrible for me, like the wontons provided by cheap and greasy Chinese restaurants. It’s a secret shameful pleasure executed in a non greasy way that accentuates the rest of the salad instead of taking it over. I’m not sure if I would describe the dressing as creamy, but the leaves were lightly tossed in something that was very tasty.

Elena’s salmon looked really nice. I watched her carefully pull the skin off the top before diving in. The sticky rice looked unpalatable to me, but the asparagus accompanying the plate looked delicious. Walter had this same asparagus on his plate as well. The style it was cooked in was the only Asian influences his plate contained. The steak seemed nice, and he did not complain. The frites were curly bits of fried potato that looked mildly unappealing and mostly remained on his plate. Lach enjoyed his salad, but was surprised to find that the tenderloin was presented in skewered chunks as opposed to thinly sliced pieces. He admitted to me that he enjoyed Mars more than he had enjoyed his past experience at South Congress Café.

We were all satiated. Walter (being the typical coffee-snob Italian) did not trust the espresso at Mars and suggested we travel to Starbucks to finish our afternoon. I cringed and proposed Mozart’s instead. Not only did I want to avoid the ever-present Starbucks, I could finally get some time outdoors on a nice patio. He agreed to try it and was actually quite surprised. Although he and Elena recoiled at disgust at the ice cream/gelato, he and Lach gave the espresso two thumbs up.

Overall: Asian influenced American food in trendy dark atmosphere. Although overrated amongst most Austin hipsters, it does pull off a good meal and has a fabulous patio perfectly situated on trendy South Congress.

Laura ~ 8 (8 on food, 9 on atmosphere)

Cru

238 W 2nd St

Austin, TX

(512) 472-9463

http://www.cruawinebar.com/

Laura: My good friend David has been recommending Cru for months. Yes folks, it is a chain. I looked at their website to find that they had locations not only in Austin, but also in Dallas, Denver, Plano and the Woodlands. Knowing that it was a big success in Dallas, I wasn’t quite sure it would be my kind of place, but I wanted to find out.

Mariah: I’m still recovering from my 6 years in DFW and haven’t quite been able to wash the stink of that place off me. I generally avoid places that are popular in Dallas but the lure of wine is strong. Probably stronger than my dislike of Dallas.

Laura: Mariah picked me up and we drove down to the ultra trendy and ultra expensive second street district. And if you don’t believe me that it is ultra expensive, consider this- Cru is right next to the clothing store Estilo. I once won a $50 gift certificate there off the radio. When I went to redeem it, I could not find a single decent item I could afford, even with the gift certificate. However, I did find a really awesome designer dress that I had to call my grandmother to talk me out of spending my rent money on.

Laura: Anyway, we get down there and we are looking for parking. I, ever the Eagle Eye, spot a car exiting a spot, so Mariah speeds across three lanes of traffic to swoop in for it, getting flipped off by a rightly pissed off driver in the meantime. My deepest apologies to that poor guy and the sad explanation that neither of us had enough cash to pay to park.

Mariah: Yeah I’m an awesome driver. I had to dust off some aggressive driving skills I learned while living in Chicago. Laura didn’t give that maneuver justice, we were stopped in the far left lane at a traffic light, there were cars in the other two lanes to the right of us. I inched forward and as the light turned green, I sped up quickly (as quickly as my junky Mazda can go) dodged up and around the two other cars in the middle and right lane, into the far right lane, and braked to snag the spot. All in the space of 100 feet. I rock.

Laura: As we walk into Cru and are faced with super swank bar, décor and staff, we notice what an awesome patio they have and request to be seated there. We get a couple of funky glances and are seated in a two person table in between another crowded table, a walkway for the wait staff, and a large back of a sofa chair that is making me extremely claustrophobic. When I express my concerns, what seems like the manager turns very passive-aggressive. One second he apologizes kindly, and the next minute his voice turns arrogant as he explains that there are no other tables available. Then he turns back to Dr. Jekyll as he offers to let us scoot our table and chairs over, and then after I explain to him that we would be in the walkway of the wait staff if we did that, he again changes to Mr. Hyde and tells us we will have to sit inside if we are uncomfortable with our chairs and explains that some customers like the privacy the side of the couch provides.

Laura: “I can deal” I say. It’s too nice of an evening to be inside. A really sweet and really cute waitress comes over and offers beverages and food. Its half price champagne night so Mariah and I go for a bottle of Perrier-Jouet, something we’d never choose normally, but at half price is so reasonable.

Mariah: The patio here is really nice. It’s more of a fenced off portion of the sidewalk. But the inside of the bar and the patio are open to each other creating a nice airy effect. It reminds me of a Paris sidewalk café. After we were seated, I looked over the wine menu. I had already eaten at Chez Nous (the review is forthcoming) so I didn’t bother long with the food menu.

Laura: But I was in need of some grub, so I start scanning the food menu. They have a few pizzas, a few meaty entrees, a couple of salads, and some interesting looking cheese flights. I was feeling extremely indecisive, so I eenie meenie miney moed and ordered White Truffle Oil Cheese Fondue with apples, carrot and rustic bread.

Laura: The clientele was varied. Mariah had a better look at all of this than I did, as I was being sequestered by the sofa wall. She explained to me that people were going between tables inside and that the place seemed very friendly. But the patio seemed full of girls with fresh highlights and $1000 Fendi purses. And not the knockoff ones my friends (Mariah) have.

Mariah: Whatever. My knock-off Fendi is awesome. I definitely see how this place works though. If you don’t have a seating preference they put the young good looking people out on the patio and the older less trendy people inside. Thats probably why the host looked a little nervous when we asked to sit on the patio (despite there being 6 or 7 open tables) and why were were seated behind a large couch. Apaprently we don't look cool enough to sit on their patio. Its filled with young 20-something (some looked even younger though) with short skirts, flat ironed hair, Abercrombe& Fitch polos, and way too much hair gel. The people inside looked normal and were clearly having a good time. There was a lot of laughing and table hopping. I’m guessing the place has quite a few regulars. But I wonder if they see the lipstick segregation.

Laura: I didn't notice the segregation (thanks again, Sofa Wall). And I don't understand it. So what I was wearing flip flops and don't have an expensive purse? We're two really cute girls! And this is Austin damn you. Flip flops here ARE couture. Anyway, the champagne was young but not send back worthy, although at full price ($70) I would have been horribly disappointed.

Mariah: It was really green. It was very acidic and didn’t have a good balance of flavors. I’ve had better bottles of $40 champagne (Nicky Fou Rose or Moet White Star)

Laura: A waiter or waitress came by every minute and a half to refill our glasses. This tactic kept us drinking at a quick pace. The fondue arrived and I went in for a bite. Initially, the cheese was very liquid (as expected when warm) and the apples and carrots were fine, but the bread was hard as a rock. Even after soaking it in the fondue, it still did not give.

Mariah: Seriously! That bread was stale! It was disgusting. I don’t know if that’s the effect they were going for. I understand there’s a time and a place for stale bread (bread pudding, yum!), but not normally when you’re just eating it plain.

Laura: As time passed on, and the fondue cooled, it never thickened in the least bit and did not adhere to the apples or carrots. We used our scientific reasoning to deduct that it was heavily diluted with milk and wine. At this point my tongue started to swell a bit. Guys, I’m about to admit something. I’m mildly allergic to cheap wine. I found this out on a trip to boyfriend’s dad’s for Thanksgiving when they busted out with the notorious bang for buck bottle of Two Buck Chuck and my entire mouth swelled. When my tongue started swelling at Cru, we had long finished our bottle of champagne, making me think that the wine in the fondue was scraped from the bottom of the grape stomper’s feet.

Mariah: We also noticed the previously ever present (and pouring) waitress disappeared the second we finished our bottle and decided we weren’t going to order another. We literally sat there for 10 or 15 minutes waiting for her to come back so we could settle out bill. Finally we had to flag down Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde to get our check.

Laura: We asked for our check and found that they had charged us full price for the champagne. Kind of cheeky, eh? After having the problem corrected by Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, we left, vowing not to return.

Overall: Cheeky attitude of restaurant staff/management. Full price bottles are overpriced. Fondue sucks. But goddamn that patio is nice… if you can avoid the $30k Millionaires and lumbering furniture.

Laura: 4
Mariah: 5 (The patio IS really nice)

Cafe Mundi

1704 E Fifth St

Austin, TX 78702
Phone: (512) 236-8634

http://www.cafemundi.com/

Saturday morning the boyfriend and I went out in search of some breakfast. After flipping through a book of Austin restaurants that Mariah gave me for my birthday for recommendations, we were eager to try Azul on the east side. So we got in the car and drove over to East Cesar Chavez to find a cute but empty little building with a fun patio and a sign in the window announcing that the establishment was closed- for good. What a shame, it looked fun.

We consulted the book for other east side places - we were already there afterall- and chose Cafe Mundi on East Fifth Street. I started driving north towards East Fifth, and was a little bit curious when i turned down a narrow road bordered by a graffitied railroad track. As I drove down the street, I started to notice people wandering around outside. Something was definately going on.

We parked at the Cafe Mundi sign and got out of the car. We then realized that there was a bike fair in the area between the cafe and a hair salon and that the place was crawling with granola biking hipsters.

We made our way through the terrifically landscaped garden full of banana trees and flowers and into the actual cafe itself. The menu was limited for a restaurant, but extensive enough for the coffee shop vibe we were getting from the place. We scanned through the sandwiches, migas, bagels, coffee and beer selections and ordered a double latte, a plate of migas, and a lox bagel plate from a severely spastic barista. I repeated my order three times to her upon her request, and tossed in a fourth confirmation at the end- just to make sure.

Lach was feeling a bit queezy, so he went outside to find a table while I continued to deal with the barista. The latte was delicious. We drank it outside while soaking up the sun in the calming beautiful garden that reminded us of our recent trip to Mexico and began people watching. Trust me- there was some interesting people watching to be had. The 50-something massage therapist wearing a grateful dead shirt, dreadlocked ladies intensely focused on notebooks, a Canadian couple with one of those daddy over the shoulder slings for their newborn and the yuppie friend that accompanied them. Girls that looked very normal, save a streak of purple hair, or prominant tattoo. And bikes all around.

Our food arrived, and well. Damn. Lach's lox plate looked so much better than my migas and corn chips. They were out of bagels so they substituted foccacia bread for his plate to accompany the lox, cucumbers, cream cheese, tomatoes, olives and capers. He ate every bite, save a few cucumbers and olives that I stole. My migas were edible, but mildly stiff and uninspiring.

We got a second coffee to go (Hey, we split the first one, so really that's just one a piece!) and left feeling just a little too corporate for the place. I loved the atmosphere- I was just afraid someone was going to ask us what we did for a living!

Overall: beautiful garden, hipster atmosphere, great as a coffee shop but wouldn't come here for a meal. Avoid the migas.

Laura ~ 8.5 as a coffee shop, 6 as a restaurant.

Nunzia's

7720 Tx-71 W
Austin, TX
(512) 394-0220

http://www.nunzias.com/

Mariah: The week before last, Laura was preparing to go on her big Mexican Adventure. She had planned on doing her laundry the Wednesday night before she left, but Wednesday rolled around and she found herself sick and far too tired to trek to a Laundromat or to someone’s house. So Thursday morning she awoke in a tizzy with the realization that she was leaving in a day and her laundry wasn’t finished. I suggested she do what my wonderful working mother had done when I was growing up and take it to the cleaners. They’ll wash, press or fold any laundry you bring them, often with same day service. So Laura did some research and found a reputable cleaners with an in by 9 out by 6 same day policy. So she dutifully brought her clothes to the Laundromat only to have them inform her that it was 9:03 and the truck had already left.

Laura: Can you believe that? 3 measly little minutes?

Mariah: So I did the only thing a good friend would do in a situation like this, I offered up my washer and dryer. That afternoon, we sat on my patio with Eric and Cory enjoying the 3 degrees of Hill Country view you can see from my apartment. Around 8, though, our stomachs started grumbling so we struck out in search of food. Since this was my end of town, I suggested a nice joint about a mile from my apartment called Nunzia’s. It used to be the Y Bar and Grill but the owners and the name have since changed to Nunzia’s. I’d eaten there dozens of times as both the Y Bar and Grill and as Nunzia’s, so I figured it was a pretty safe bet for some tasty food on the south end of town.

Laura: I’d never been before so I was up for trying it. By the way, thanks for letting me borrow the good ole W/D.

Mariah: The first thing you notice as you enter the restaurant is the huge glass door you have to pass through. It’s not a normal door hinged at the edge, but its some crazy-hinged futuristic door contraption that throws you off when you try to open it. The inside of the restaurant is lovely though. It backs up to a wooded creek and is very rustic. The floors are red glazed concrete, there are several frosted glass accents, but the décor manages to mesh together providing a warm and inviting atmosphere. There is also a large patio on one side that also abuts the wooded creek. Its covered with fans and heaters providing a sufficient level of temperature control to make it habitable most of the year. In the summer, they usually have bands that provide a nice ambiance to the patio.

Laura: My first thought was that the door was really heavy and confusing and that the ceilings were high. But overall the restaurant showed serious potential. Calling it a creek was a bit of a stretch, but it was nicer than sitting next to the highway.

Mariah: We were seated on the patio and immediately started perusing the menu. It all looked pretty tasty (from my perspective). There were a dozen or so delectable sounding appetizers, a decent selection of salads, a dozen pasta entrees and an equal number of grilled dishes. Cory and I, both aficionados of raw meat decided to split a tuna tartar appetizer while Eric opted for a French onion soup. For entrees, Cory and I both got pasta, his was spaghetti with meatballs, mine with Bolognese.

Laura: The menu had a lot to offer, but I was still feeling a little under the weather so I went for a salad. I debated back and forth between the warm goat cheese salad (arugula, spinach, walnuts, poached pears, tangerine and pomegranate vinaigrette) and a mango habanero salad (field greens, mango, avocado, fried won-tons and red and green bell peppers.) I decided on the warm goat cheese salad as it seemed safer for my healing stomach to avoid anything spicy.

Mariah: The appetizers arrived and we dug in… Then stopped.. Cory’s and my tuna wasn’t too bad, but there was a surprising lack of tuna dipping sauce; not being the greatest quality tuna, a sauce was needed. We quickly ran through the drizzle of red chili mayo on our plate so we stopped the waiter to request more. But he didn’t just bring us more of the red chili mayo, be brought a green wasabi sauce as well. That’s when we realized the plating only had one sauce and a meager dribble at that. I started to get a little surly, but one mistake is forgivable. That’s when Eric piped in that his soup was cold. Not just cool or room temperature, but cold. We flagged the waiter down again and sent the soup back for a little more heat. To appease us, he brought out a big loaf of rosemary garlic bread. Now I have to say, the bread was excellent. It was reminiscent of the bread you get at Macaroni Grill, but better (I’m sorry I had to mention that dreadful place, I hope I don’t give any of you fellow foodie’s nightmares tonight).

Laura: Mariah forgot to mention the incessant physical contact the waiter was giving the men. And not the “I want to take you home” kind of contact, more the “hey I read in a psychology book somewhere that waiters who physically connect with their customers get tipped more” kind of way.

I agree, the bread was good, but I feel the need to address the soup issue.

When the soup was delivered, Eric realized he had ordered the wrong size (the waiter hadn't asked if he had wanted a bowl or a cup so he ended up with a bowl.) At that point, I did the honorable thing and offered to split it with him. We asked the waiter to bring an extra bowl so that we could share the soup. Now a good waiter would have the kitchen divide the soup up into two smaller bowls, but not doing so is nothing to get upset about. However, the waiter not only did not have the forethought to split the food into two, he also forgot the extra bowl several times and when it finally arrived, it was basically tossed at me.

Now on to the technical merits- They served it in a large open bowl so that it wouldn’t keep heat. Also, they used way too many croutons, which completely made the dish more into a way garlic-y turkey stuffing gone awry kind of thing. It just made it even worse when they re-heated it. The re-heating caused the croutons to soak up the soup until the bowl was just full of wet disintigrating bread.

Mariah: Eric’s soup came back suitably re-heated about the same time as out entrees. We were all getting a little more than peeved about the quality of our food. The chef was that night must have been smoking crack to let such huge mistakes out of his kitchen. The entrees were ok, not anything to write home about. My Bolognese pasta was on par with (brace yourselves) Macaroni Grill, and Cory’s meatballs, while better weren’t really anything special either.

Laura: My salad didn’t seem to taste very good, but I hadn’t eaten in 9 hours, so I gobbled it up anyway. The goat cheese was… weird. It was fried in some sort of batter reminiscent of the coating on Sonic jalapeno poppers (which by the way was next door). I’m not knocking Sonic jalapeno poppers, but they have their time and place, and that time and place is late after a night out or in the middle of a long road trip, not on my dinner salad.

Mariah: I asked to try a bite of Laura’s goat cheese and was shocked and appalled at the sub-par quality of the goat cheese. It was sharp and acrid and had a distinct “off” flavor, not the usual creamy delicious goat cheese I’m used to having (it wasn’t even the slightly goat-y tasting goat cheese that I don’t care for but eat sometimes anyway). That’s when I got mad. We had suffered one food insult after another. I flagged the waiter down and asked to speak to Manager. He looked affronted and immediately took a defensive posture. He didn’t say “Yes Ma’am” or “I’ll get him immediately” he instead chose to say “Why?.” I got even more pissed off. And said in my firmest bitch slave-driver voice, “I would like to speak to the manager please.” Without saying anything else, he turned and walked off.

We waited patiently for probably about 5 minutes before the waiter reappeared. “The manager has left for the evening,” he said. I think at that point I snapped. “Can I speak to the Manager on duty??” I mean was this guy really that crass and stupid not to produce another manager? That’s when he said (and I still don’t know whether to believe him or not), “I am the manager on duty.” At that point I was so pissed I ripped into him. I told him about the poor plating of the tuna appetizer, the cold soup, the off taste of the goat cheese, and about the general poor quality of a usually very fine dining establishment! And did he say “I’m sorry Ma’am” or lie and say their cook was training new staff tonight? No. That asshole said “well you didn’t send anything back I can’t do anything.” I think he thought we were trying to skip our bill! The nerve! I tried in my calm but iciest voice to tell him that it wasn’t that the food was inedible, it was just not up to the standard excellent quality I had experienced at this establishment on numerous occasions. After going back and forth with him, he finally offered to comp a few things for us. I really wanted him to say “I’m so sorry, I’ll talk to the manager about it tomorrow and have him call you.” But I didn’t want to argue with him anymore and let him comp us whatever he was going to. I think he ended up halving our bill down to $30. And honestly, it was a perfectly adequate $40 meal, but would have been a tragic $80 meal.

Laura: Yeah, the food was pretty gross and we were treated like freeloaders by a skeezy waiter. I felt like I was at Chili’s in the burbs. Worst of all, Mariah was mildly embarrassed for even having suggested the place. It’s ok, Mariah. Restaurant management changes, food suppliers flake, cooks quit, and well, another restaurant knocked off our list. C’est la vie.

Bottom Line: Used to be good, sucks now, poor quality, crappy service

Laura - 3
Mariah - 5 (but only because they have a history of being good, but I won't be going back any time soon)

Sampaio's

4800 Burnet
Austin, Tx 78756

512-469-9988

http://www.sampaiosrestaurant.com/

Mariah: So on Tuesday nights Laura and I usually head someplace for dinner and girl time. It’s become sort of a semi-regular ritual and last night was no exception. We decided to meet up at 8:00 so that we wouldn’t have to deal with the caucus voting yahoos filling the road. We e-mailed back and forth all afternoon trying to figure out which establishment to bless with our hot selves. We threw around Jeffries and Casa de Luz but neither of us felt really strongly about any one location. I looked at my handy dandy event calendar to figure out if there was anything fun going on around town, and being a typical Tuesday night, there wasn’t a whole lot. We eventually decided to get a pizza and watch Moulin Rouge at Rounders. But somewhere between that decision and 8:00, Elena decided to come eat with us. Since she is leaving for Italy on Friday, Laura had just gotten back from her crazy Colorado ski trip, and I’d had a rockin weekend I made an executive decision to nix Rounders movie night in favor of someplace we could more easily converse. But where? I picked up Laura and we headed to the Triangle to get Elena and the whole time we were going back and forth. “Where do you want to eat” “I dunno, where do you want to eat?” “I asked you first” and other childishness ensued. By the time we got Elena, we had decided against sushi, Mexican, or Indian. So where do we go? We had almost decided on Thai food when a bright idea popped into Laura’s head “Why don’t we try that Brazilian place Sampaio’s?” Genius.

Laura: Mariah and I would have been doing our patriotic duty of caucusing too except somehow my registration slipped through the cracks (I smell a conspiracy) and Mariah had just plain forgotten to re-register with her new Austin address. Oh well, Brazilian food it is.

When we arrived, I realized Sampaio was right next to Blue Star Cafeteria, another establishment I’ve been dying to try. We surveyed them both before making our final decision.

Mariah: When we took a peak into the Sampaio window to see if it was worthy of our moola, Elena basically lit up, making the choice obvious. It was very nice and upscale on the inside. Hard wood floors, exposed brick walls, a giant, fluted, blue tiled pillar in the center of the room (something reminiscent of a shape I’d have to find the volume of in calculus 101). And the smell emanating from within was amazing. Smoke, meat, spice, oh my. We quickly took a seat in a corner booth and hunkered down.

Laura: They sat us beneath a severely out of place painting of the Jesus and the Virgin Mary. We became quite confused at what kind of décor they were really going for- trendy colored tile lounge or da Vinci Code-esque goth? Thinking this hard made me want a drink.

Mariah: Our waiter in training showed up quickly enough and Laura ordered some egg drink (ew). I ordered some tasty tasty cheese bread for the table and Elena decided to try something new and got the Mandioca Griddles (yucca cakes). The cheese bread was out lightening fast and the yacca cakes followed a few minutes later. The cheese bread was tasty, but not the soft cheesy, doughy balls I used to get at Texas de Brazil and Fogo de Chao. These cheese balls were a little crustier on the outside but were still good to eat.

Laura: It’s called a Pisco Sour you uncultured woman. ;) The bread tasted just like those Thanksgiving day rolls all us southerners know and love- if they were injected mid-baking with cheese.

Mariah: The yucca cakes were a bit more interesting. They arrived looking like little chicken parmesan hockey pucks. They were golden deep fried yucca cakes covered in a thin tomato sauce and topped with a thick sheet of white cheese. They looked damn tasty so I dug in and took a big bite. Boy, that was a mistake. The intense spice of the dish literally exploded in my mouth. As I drank my whole glass of water in a crazed frenzy (the waiter in training being on hand to pour me another) Elena pointed out that the spicy part was the tomato sauce. We all scraped the sauce off the top of our cakes and dug in again (that sounds kind of dirty). Sans super spicy sauce, the yucca cakes were pretty good. The normally fibrous, thick texture of the yucca was a nice creamy texture in the cakes. But at its heart it was still yucca and was pretty bland. I went back to eating cheese bread.

Laura: LOL, actually I ate my tomato sauce and the tomato sauce you scraped off of yours. I thought it was tasty. Yes, a little on the spicy side, but it really complemented the yucca cakes. Without it, I could see how the cakes would taste bland. And remember, I was craving pizza earlier.

Mariah: We chit chatted and girl talked, trying to get each other up to date on our lives (I mean a whole week without talking, so much can happen in a week!). I told them about my awesome, ass kicking weekend: the State Radio show (totally rockin, go see them) on Friday night and drinking at the Gingerman on Saturday night. Elena told us about her boyfriend’s crazy stressful life right now. Poor guy’s been working killer hours and having to deal with a family tragedy too (oh he lives in Italy if you didn’t know). Plus, she’s been totally stressed trying to get all her PhD projects. And Laura told us all about her ski trip to Colorado (I know, she sounds so high-brow).

Laura: Elena and I also ordered a glass of wine each. They were out of Elena’s first choice, but happily recommended something similar to her that she seemed to accept. I thought the wine list was ok. I ended up with a glass of Pinot Noir. They had separate gluten free and vegetarian menus. There were several really satisfying vegetarian choices, including a rice dish with collard green and fried egg. The collard greens sounded appealing, but the fried egg business just reminded me too much of my trip to Switzerland where the vegetarian choice was always Rosti with a fried egg on top. Spend a week eating nothing but potato, egg and cheese and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Just thinking about it made me want a salad. Plus, I already had egg in my drink. So I took a look at the salads and decided to order the Salada de Maca, romaine hearts and baby greens topped with a Burgundy basted apple, stuffed with goat cheese, raisins and pecans and served with a mustard seed dressing. Sounds yummy, doesn’t it?

Mariah: While we chatted, the food arrived. It smelled amazing. Elena and I had both gotten the Xinxim de Galinha con Camarao. Who could pass that up? White fluffy rice and rich green collard greens covered with chicken and shrimp in a coconut cream sauce. It was quite tasty. It reminded me of a Caribbean dish I make from time to time. But that dish involves the liberal usage of dark rum that is flambed. This sauce didn’t taste like that had done that. And while it was a great sauce, it could have used more dimension. They could have used rum or gone truly Brazilian and added strained dried shrimp broth to the sauce. But overall it was very satisfying and I would definitely eat it again.

Laura: I don’t know what I was expecting out of the mustard seed dressing, but I found it to be a little disappointing. The flavor was really powerful and it made my salad feel kind-of dry. Also, there was an ENTIRE cored apple just sitting in the middle of my plate. I cut it up to make it much more manageable. The rest of the salad was very pleasing- the romaine, baby greens, goat cheese pecans and raisins worked well together. Now, I usually don’t like raisins, but these were the cute plumpy golden kind, not the dried chewy brown bits you used to get in your lunchbox as a kid. And they didn’t overpower the salad. In fact, you would hardly notice them if you weren’t paying attention.

Mariah: We decided that since were eating well we might as well go all the way and order dessert. We opted to split the Guava Bread Pudding between the 3 of us. I’m sure glad we did that, the bread pudding slab they brought us was huge. It had a nice flavor cinnamon and nutmeg, infused with bits of dried guava. But the texture was far too gummy for my tastes. Now I know some people like their bread pudding to be a sticky hunk of fused bread pieces, but I prefer my bread pudding to still resemble the bread that made it and to be a lighter texture (if any bread pudding can be called “lighter”).

Laura: I don’t usually like bread pudding at all, I was actually mildly disgusted when you guys suggested it, but I figured I’d give it a try. It was actually ok. Plus we were talking about touchy subjects (the stress of being a grad student followed by exboyfriends and car vandalism followed by healthcare in America) so we all needed the sugar to calm us down.

Overall, the meal was very tasty and the environment was nice. The staff was friendly and attentive. It’s not my favorite Austin establishment but I would definitely take a friend there or recommend it to an Austin visitor with confidence.

Bottom Line: Great but not extraordinary Brazilian - but what other South American options do you have in Austin (that’s not the Fogo de Chao meat orgy)?

Mariah: 8

Laura: 8.5

Mandola's Italian Market

(512) 419-9700

4700 Guadalupe St

Austin, TX

http://www.mandolasmarket.com/

I’ve been meaning to post a review of Mandola’s for a couple of weeks now and haven’t gotten around to it, so here it goes. I went there for a family dinner a few weeks ago. Its nice and centrally located making it a great location of you want to meet up with people who are dispersed all over town. My dad works waaaaay north, I live and work waaaaay south, my mom and brother work pretty centrally, so we decided to meet up at Mandola’s and give it a try. Its in that new (well new to me) Triangle complex around 45th and Lamar/Guadalupe. There are all sorts of new places going in there. A Flying Saucer (yeaaaaahhh, who wants to do the beers of the world tour with me??), a Mama Fu’s (review to follow when I get to it), a Flipnotics coffee space (or whatever the hell that place is called), and a couple of other places that I can’t remember now. First let me say the parking situation sucks. My girlfriend Elena lives there and it’s always a bitch and a half to go to find parking at her place. But I’ll let you in on a secret - park at the Office Depot (Office Max, Staples, whatever), then you can casually stroll down to Mandola’s while everyone else is cursing and fighting for a space. Second, I’ve only been there once, but I have it on good authority that the place is always packed. So be prepared to wait, but the wait turns out to be a rather reasonable – around 20 minutes.

When you get to Mandola’s the first thing you’ll notice is that it’s not a normal sit down restaurant - its part restaurant and part Italian market. You stand in a long line to place your order, but the 10 or so minutes you wait in line you can look at the market wares that happen to be within arms length. Elena, who is from Italy, says they have a good selection of Italian products (even some ones that are hard to find it Italy). They literally have 50 different kinds of olive oil. So if you’re an olive oil snob and you’ve worked your way through the selection at Central Market this is your place. There is a deliciously stocked pastry and dessert counter also, so make sure to save room.

When you finally do get to the front of the queue, you place your order at the register, and find a seat. If you come with a large group, as we did, strategize, and have half your group place the orders while the other stake their claim on a table. There is a separate (and shorter) line if you just want dessert and coffee. The selection is pretty good as far as Italian “fast food” goes. They have a nice selection of bruschette, paninis, pizze (pizza if you’re not too smart), pasta and insalate (salads).

Since there were 4 of us and I was hungry we opted for the Bruschette al Finocchiona as an appetizer. It was delicious! Crisp fresh bread topped with a really tasty salami, creamy goat cheese, arugula and nice big shavings of parmigiano. The ingredients were all fresh, crisp, and the pairings of all were a hearty way to kick off the Italian dinner. I highly recommend it. My parents both opted for the ravioli of the day. I believe it was a butternut squash ravioli in a butter sauce. It was excellent. Not the usual pre-made ravioli nightmare you find at most restaurants. You could tell these were made recently and the dough was fresh (having labored to make ravioli by hand before, I consider myself a minor ravioli expert and in the future will leave ravioli making to Mandolas). I went with my current Italian favorite, the Gnocchi al Sugo. I measure Italian restaurants by the quality of their gnocchi. Is it hand-made, is it fresh, is it tender and not too tough (or worse yet chewy). And Mandola’s lived up to my expectations. The gnocchi were prepared and cooked to perfection and came smothered in a light tomato cream sauce. I can’t speak highly enough of their gnocchi. It is really good. My brother went with Spaghetti Carbonara and I have to say it was my least favorite dish. It was fresh but far too rich for my palate. The cream egg sauce was just way too overwhelming. One bite and I was done with. I was more than happy to go back to my gnocchi. The table next to us had ordered a pizza and it was a work of art. Large and oblong (in the Sicilian style I am told) it was covered in fresh looking cheese and surprisingly salami. I’d like to give it a whirl sometime. I’ve never had salami on my pizza before..

We didn’t stay for dessert, but I wish we would have. Their dessert and coffee counter had some truly delectable looking treats. Oh well. It gives me an excuse to go back.

Bottom Line: Great Italian food if you can find parking and don’t mind standing in line

Mariah - 9

Zax Pints & Plates

(512) 481-0100
312 Barton Springs Rd
Austin, TX


http://www.zaxaustin.com/

I wanted to post this last week (when I actually went to the restaurant), but I’ve been holed up in bed for a week and a half with a killer sore throat. Sorry for the tardiness. Anyway, last Saturday I went on date with a nice gentleman (I know, me on a date!). Since we had already established that I was the resident foodie, I was left to pick the restaurant. The only guidelines I were given were it had to be mid-priced, in south Austin, and American cuisine was preferable. Those restrictions immediately left of some of my favorite south Austin hang outs: Mars, Havana, Guerros, Vespaio, and Maudes. So really the only options left were So Co Café, Zax, Freddies, and Threadgills. Now we can argue all day about Threadgills, but I don’t particularly like the food there. I had been to Freddie’s recently (read the review), and I couldn’t convince him on So Co Café, so we were left with Zax Pints & Plates.

To be honest, Zax is a great place for a first date. Its easy to find (if you’re being a good first dater and meeting at the restaurant), the food is reasonable priced, there is a good drink selection (because you can’t go on a first date without consuming some alcohol to calm your nerves), and its well lit (if your date turns out to be a creep). The ambiance really is nice - hard wood floors, white walls, big windows, and nice vaulted ceilings. If it’s warm out, they have a nice secluded outdoor patio.

My date, being the wine snob, decided on a bottle of Pepi Pinot Grigio. I did take a gander at the wine and beer list and noticed it was surprisingly small for a place that had “& Pints” in its name. But the small selection was well rounded and reasonable priced. Plus, most of the beers offered are on draft instead of bottled, which honestly does make for a better glass of beer. This time though we stuck to wine. I wish we had picked the beer though. The wine was VERY tart. But after a couple of glasses, I didn’t seem to care. Besides I was on a date, who rates the wine when they have such beguiling company to keep them occupied?

The menu at Zax is like its beverage list, small but well rounded. There are a couple of appetizers, a couple of soups, quesadillas, burgers, pizza, a few entrees, and a couple of pasta dishes. On previous jaunts to Zax, I have had the Crab Cakes, which are nice plump offerings of fresh crab, the Grilled Polenta, grilled polenta triangles covered in a creamy blue cheese, and the slightly chewy and disappointing Calamari. This time my date and I opted to drink out appetizer in the Pepi Pinot Grigio. I think the waitress assumed we weren’t going to order because we had both gone through 2 glasses before she came to take our dinner order. I went with the Seared Sea Scallops. To be honest, I was getting a little buzzed at that point (2 glasses of wine and no food!) and I totally don’t remember what my date ordered. I THINK it was the Mediterranean Tilapia, but he turned out not to be a food sharer so I didn’t get a chance to taste his meal. I got the impression he didn’t like whatever he ordered mostly because he told me he didn’t later in the evening.

Our dinner arrived quickly (or what seemed like quickly in my buzzed state). The scallops were firm, slightly chewy and well cooked, not the tender, tasty morsels I would have liked. They were rather unremarkable and tasteless. The polenta, however, was really awesome. It was covered in a creamy goat cheese and some sort of red pepper sauce. It had a nice texture and finish, and was really the star of the dish. The green beans were cooked perfectly - firm and green beany (really, what else can I say about green beans).

We ate and talked and laughed. I even managed a sleeve touch or two, just to show I was interested (hey, Cosmo says you have to bridge the physical gap on a first date). When we were finished we went to Alamo South for our evening entertainment: the Master Pancake Theater’s bashing of the Breakfast Club. And Master Pancake Theater did not disappoint. They transformed a truly awful 80’s movie into something fun and watch-able (I don’t want to get any disparaging e-mails about my hatred of the Breakfast Club – it’s not a generationally defining movie, it’s just bad, period).

Bottom Line: Good place for a first date

Mariah: 8

Vin Bistro

1601 W 38th St

Austin, TX

(512) 377-5252

Before we begin, we want to note for posterity that this review is going to be a little different, it was a cooperative effort between Laura and myself. We went to Vin Bistro last night for dinner and had such a bazaar experience that we both wanted to contribute our individual perspectives on the situation. We figured neither one of us could properly tell the whole story with all its particular nuances alone so we’re testing out a tag team blog. Let us know what you think!

Mariah – This place is kind of hard to find. We literally drove around the block twice before we realized we were driving around the wrong block. The restaurant is at the corner of 38th and Kirby. Now I know you’re thinking oh that’s where that big trendy strip mall is, right next to Brick Oven. But you’d be wrong. That shopping center is at 36th and Jefferson. Vin is actually in the shopping center right next to Kirby Lane. It’s an old 1950’s strip mall that used to be know for having a lot of old lady boutiques and a bland tasteless restaurant my grandmother used to like to take us to. It always had a few too many Cadillacs parked in the parking lot if you catch my drift. After looking through the windows of the shops and eating at the restaurant, I’d say not a lot has changed in 20 years.

Laura- The website really made the place look amazing. I was pretty stoked to go. The driving around didn’t bother me so much as I never write down directions, rely on my crappy memory and end up driving around for a while looking for places regardless of how easy they supposedly are to find. Anyway, the surrounding establishments were a turnoff. It was all overpriced luxury crap that I either needed to be geriatric or a non working wealthy mother of 5 who employs 5 nannies and is a board member of the Ladies League to appreciate. Never judge a book by it’s cover, but you can usually tell someone from the company they keep.

Mariah – The atmosphere of the restaurant is nice, but nothing to write home about. When I go to a wine bar, I want it to be cozy. I want to imagine myself canoodling with a hot date in a secluded alcove getting drunk off wine and the heady feeling of new infatuation. This place isn’t that. It’s very clean and well lit. The inside is painted a warm rich caramel color and is generally inviting for a dinner setting. They have a large covered and plastic enclosed patio that is probably very nice to sit out on when the weather is nice. The chairs, however, are incredible uncomfortable. They require you to sit up very strait and rigidly so the whole time you’re there you feel slightly uneasy a little uptight.

Laura- The crowd was a mix of people, business men in tweed behind me, a fairly young ladies night dinner to my left, a couple out on date night behind Mariah. Waiters were dressed in all black. The décor was pleasant, but man, Mariah ain’t lyin’ about those chairs.

Mariah – The service is also excellent. This is the kind of place where you’re waiters are all college educated and they’ll stop and talk to you extensively about food. In fact, if it’s your first visit, you’ll be subjected to a 5 minute monologue on the virtues of their wine and food pairings and the general “Vin” philosophy. We felt kind of bad for our waiter, who was so used to saying his particular spiel that he just rattled it off not even looking us in the eye while he said it. It was a little weird, but other than that the service was generally very good.

Laura- Being an engineer, I’m fairly used to the socially awkwardness that described our waiter.

Mariah – But lets move on to the food, the real reason why you’re reading this. The menu, at first, seemed very good. Each offering had an accompanying wine pairing. There was also a section of the menu that had menu options specifically tailored to pair with the featured wine of the month. A great philosophy.. in theory. Since I have been sickly for a few days, I wanted something that was homey, familiar, and easy to eat. I opted for the masa harina fried chicken with “cheese in macaroni” but instead of the pickled chow chow (yuck!) I went with mashed potatoes.

Laura – The vegetarian options consisted of a few appetizers, some salads, and a pasta dish. I ignored the waiter's recommendation of dolmas and chose a salad, the Charred Butter Lettuce. I chose the salad because I had a big lunch, and let’s face it, I was here for the wine. Wednesday is half price wine day and I was going to take full advantage of it. I ordered a pinot noir. The waiter recommended the San Simeon 2004, referring to it as “a very nice juice” that was a good compromise between earthy and fruity. What is it with wine afficienatos referring to wine as “juice”? Is that the aerospace equivalent to referring to an airplane as a “bird”? Is this a new thing or have I never noticed before? So many questions. Anyway, he was right- the delicious dark liquid began really fruity but rich and cherry-like, and finished earthy, and I could tell it had a very high alcohol content.

Mariah – This is where things start to go horrible awry. I didn’t realize fried chicken took so long to cook. I didn’t factor in that they might have had to drive out to west Texas, pick out a baby chick, nurture it to adulthood, bring it back, butcher it, let it marinate for 2 days, then cook it. Because, seriously, that’s how long is felt like we waited (turned out it was 45 minutes). When they finally did bring it out I was overjoyed and frickin starving. I dug in immediately and started to make an absolute pig of myself. The masa chicken was great. I had never thought of using masa as a deep fry coating, but it worked surprisingly well. It infused a slightly southwest/Mexican flavor to an old American standard. The “cheese in macaroni” was good but nothing to write home about. It was flat unfilled manicotti with a cheese sauce and a thin tomato/tabasco sauce. They would have done much better to offer a green chili macaroni like at Moonshine. The mashed potatoes are equally.. interesting. They were slightly mealy for a mashed potato; they should consider switching to a softer potato variety to get a smoother texture. It also appeared that they had whipped the potatoes with gravy instead of the normal milk and butter. If you like white flour gravy on your mashed potatoes then these are defiantly for you. If not, then like me, your left feeling your mashed potatoes are too peppery and a little too reminiscent of KFC.

Laura – No joke, Mariah’s meal made the entire table smell of KFC. While they were hunting down Mariah’s chick, they were going across the street to Randall’s Grocery to chop a head of lettuce in two hold a lighter to one side for 3 seconds, shave a few onion pieces, drizzle it with the same tomato/Tabasco sauce on Mariah’s dish and add cinnamon/chili pepper coated nuts. The nuts were the star of this dreadfully lame and boring salad. We explained this sentiment to the waiter and he began pushing the dolmas again. Fine, bring them on. I sipped my wine, munched on stale bread (that we had to ask for) and watched Mariah finish her dinner. I then continued to wait and wait and wait for these mythical dolmas.

Mariah – In fact, we waited so long for Laura’s dolmas that she finally decided she didn’t want them anymore. Since our waiter was nowhere to be seen, we flagged down a foody waiter who had been talking to the couple behind us about all the good places to eat in Chicago. We told him we weren’t interested in the dolmas and to have our waiter drink us the dessert menu. Our waiter eventually came back and apologized profusely about the wait and that he was sending the manager out. I turned to Laura and made an “oh man” face, I didn’t want to have to deal with the manager. But the manger came a few minutes later bearing Laura’s dolmas. He apologized profusely for the wait. He even offered to comp Laura the salad and dolmas. This is when we decided to good cop and bad cop the guy. Laura acted all sweet and innocent and I continued to *nicely* point out that we weren’t interested in the dolmas anymore, the salad was really subpar, and my meal took 45 minutes to get to the table. He was very nice and actively listened to our complaints, then told us he would comp out whole meal (excluding the wine). Yeah us!

Laura – I’d like to point out that scoring free food wasn’t the goal of this exercise. I mean, I really didn’t want any food at this point, but if he was going to continue to insist on these dolmas AND comping the bill, who was I to refuse? Plus by this point, I was really curious about this entree. Perhaps they shouldn't have built it up so much.

Mariah – I didn’t care for the dolmas. Maybe I love and am so used to regular Greek/Lebanese dolmas/dolmates that I just couldn’t stomach a reinterpretation of them. But to be honest, I didn’t think they were that good. The risotto rice filled was aweful. It was gummy, glutinous, and totally tasteless - not at all the wonderful rice, meat, spice filling I like in a dolma. The domas wasn’t soaked in lemon juice and broth, so the grape leaves were left with no flavor, and the dolma was topped with raisins and the same thin tomato/tabasco sauce that my manicotti was covered in. It was topped with a thick slice of grilled halloumi cheese. I normally like halloumi a lot. It’s a good fried cheese and has a nice mild flavor. But they had obviously used a gas grill to cook the cheese and it tasted.. gassy.. On a whole it just didn’t work for me. I’ll stick with Greek Domas.

Laura – Eh, the dish was ok but it tasted like something I could have gotten at Grapevine Market for lunch for $5.99. The risotto just wasn’t right.

Mariah – For dessert we went with a deconstructed bananas foster. I know the “deconstructed” dish is all the rage right now plus the people at the next table had ordered it and it looked fabulous. As we ordered, we chit chatted with the waiter and the oddest thing happened. He started looking us in the eye. He actually started treating us better after to turned back the food. He spent like 10 minutes at our table talking about food and wanting to become a pastry chef, and I honestly think that he doesn’t like the food there either. I think his opinion of us went up after we turned the food away! He realized we actually know food (hey – it is our motto) and aren’t willing to accept crappy food from a nice restaurant.

Laura- The life story of our waiter was an odd touch to the end of the evening. He reminded me of the type of guy I would’ve been friends with early on in college- idealistic, sweet and completely unsure of himself.

Mariah – The dessert itself was only ok. The fried crepes and bananas were good, but the caramelized brown sugar sauce was overpowered by the alcoholy taste of dark rum. Severely overpowered. The mint whipped cream on top was very nice though.

Laura- I liked the dessert. But then again, I had drank enough wine to not realize there was too much rum in the sauce. I say this is a great place to booze it up on cheap wine night. I think they are banking on the idea that you’ll drink too much to realize the food is mediocre.

Mariah – 6 but only because the service was so good
Laura- I agree. 6 for the wine selection and hospitality of the staff

http://www.vinbistro.com/