Fried Pickles at Hole in the Wall

http://www.holeinthewallaustin.com/

2538 Guadalupe St
Austin, TX 78705
(512) 477-4747

A few weeks ago Jenn and I found ourselves near the UT campus with an hour and a half to kill, so we decided to spend it at the Hole in the Wall on Guadalupe. I haven’t been there since I was in college, and even then I wasn’t a regular. As an engineering major, my appearance was required at the north end of campus and my drinking time was mostly split between Posse and Crown and Anchor. This is why I didn’t even realized what a fantastic patio and drink prices they had.

After two beers at the beautiful price of $2 each, we found ourselves looking over the food menu, and that’s when I pointed out to Jenn that the menu contained… fried pickles. Being the fried pickle connoisseurs we are, we knew what we had to do.

We ordered and paid the $3 for the pickles and went out to the patio to enjoy the daylight. We had some massive confusion about where we were to pick up our salty fried treats and spent the next few minutes looking around quite bewildered. Eventually after asking about 4 people, we found the kitchen pick up area in the back.

The pickles were of the thinly sliced variety, as opposed to the spears you get at Pluckers and Katz’s. The concoction was a beautiful clumpy fried mess that came with a side of ranch dressing. Upon taking a bite, my tastebuds were overcome by the greasy goodness and extremely salty flavor. The salt complimented the beer and I could imagine the more inebriated one to be, the better the treat. We dubbed the concoction “Chicken Fried Pickles,” although this is a bit of a misnomer since the batter was more of a tempura style.

Jenn said it was the best $3 she had spent in a long time. And even though we were huge fans, we were unable to finish the basket between the two of us. At one point I had to push them away citing that I liked them but continual gorging would change that.

Bottom line: Do it with beer. Don’t do it alone. Ask for extra ranch.

Laura - Recommended.

Curra's

614 E. Oltorf St.
Austin, TX 78704
(512) 444-0012

http://www.currasgrill.com/

Mariah: Hello fellow foodies. Sorry its been so long since our last post. I feel like we've let you down, like when we don't post, you wallow in bad food at bad chain restaurants, that we're you're only lifeline to a decent tasting meal. But I know its not true, you're all smart people with good taste. and you'll survive if we don't post. So, I take a chill pill and don't worry about posting. It so happens the last few weeks have been a little crazy. Laura's been dealing with personal issues of her own. And in addition to a midterm, and a crazy work schedule, my grandmother's been in the hospital requiring me to make a trip through the Bible Belt Buckle to Nebraska.

Laura: Way to make me sound like a whack job, Mariah. I've just been busy and well getting a little burned out. A much needed break on all non essential things in life was in order. Which meant a break on blogging about good food, but definately not a break in eating good food.

Mariah: Let me vent about that trip for a few minutes (but purely from a food perspective). You would not believe the crap people in the Midwest shovel into their mouths. Everything is deep fried, covered in butter, smothered in gravy, or burned to a crisp. This horrible treatment of poor defenseless food is mostly required to mask the bad quality of the ingredients. For being America's breadbasket, the Midwest sure has a crappy selection of quality food stuffs.

Laura: Yeah I have some relatives in Missouri and I can attest to the blandness of the food. How do the people there cope? I don't know, but I am entertained by watching them recoil in pain at the mere sight of mild salsa.

Mariah: The drive to Nebraska started well, with a quick trip to the Czech Stop for creamed cheese kolaches, but, it quickly deteriorated. There was a failed stop at a Luby's somewhere in North Texas where the fish almondine, normally a safe bet at Luby's, tasted and smelled like canned cat food. I even had a trippy experience in the bathroom where I was accosted by fanny pack bedecked Senior Citizens on a bus trip to God knows where.

Laura: I can't believe you drove to Nebraska. Oh yeah, and I get that a road side gas station that serves baked semi-ethnic goods (Well, you know Texas meets a distant European relative) is all novel and stuff, but as far as the actual kolaches go- I just don't get it. I'm sorry, but in my experience they are not that great. On the other hand, the Jerky Capitol of the World on 45 (halfway between Houston and Dallas) is awesome.

Mariah: Anyway, there was the vomit inducing excursion to an Applebee's in Witchita. I ordered half a BLT and an Asian chicken salad only to discover the BLT had no T's, was soaked in grease and the salad had visibly brown (rotting) lettuce. My mom, the usual Applebee's advocate, had the harrowing experience of having to send her undercooked chicken breast back, not once, but twice, and it still back pink in the middle (though charred to a crisp on the edges). Looking around that middle America Applebee's, I discovered exactly where the obesity epidemic is centered, the Midwest. The restaurant was overflowing with quadruple chins and people so large I doubt if they could move on their own. Between the smoke filled non-smoking section, the grease sodden sandwich, and the gelatinous Midwesterners happily slurping down their ill-tasting swill, I had a moment of sheer claustrophobia and had to retreat to the dirty bathroom.

Mariah: However, my dining experiences went from bad to worse. In Freemont, Nebraska, where my grandmother lives, my mom and I, sick from the crappy food we'd been subjected to, decided to treat ourselves to the best steak house in town. I mean, come on, its close to Omaha, the cattle capital of the Midwest, surely they'd have decent steak. Boy was I mistaken. My Jim Beam steak came out looking suspiciously similar to a smokers lung, the veggies on the veggie kabob were covered in a sickly sweet garlic butter sauce and were burned to an absolutely crisp, and my twice baked potato was covered in a hard crust of what I think was supposed to be cheese. To be honest, the best meal I had all weekend was at Starbucks.

Laura: Meanwhile, I had been hanging out next to the pool being fed amazing grilled Father's Day food by my good friend Jen of Austin Event Co and enjoying lazy brunches at Galaxy Cafe and planning get together dinners at Curra's. Yeah, life this past weekend was pretty good for me. Like I said, I needed the break.

Mariah: After my horrible experiences, you can hardly blame me for being thoroughly disgusted with the Midwest in general. As soon as I stepped off the plane in Austin, I called Laura and said "I need good food." So when she told me that she and her friends were going to Curra's, Bachelor #4 and I made a beeline from the airport straight to Oltorf.

Mariah: We surprisingly found a parking space right in front; usually parking is at a premium. My food luck was starting to improve. When we walked into the funky Austin interior, I felt immediate relief and knew I was home. The first bite I had of queso with veggie chorizo tasted like the best food I'd ever had in my entire life. The hibiscus margarita was heavenly. As I happily munched on chips and queso, my scarred taste buds started to recover and the food started tasting more normal. I realized the previously heavenly queso was of good quality, but was rather bland. The hibiscus margarita was slightly too sweet and light on alcohol.

Laura: Lach ordered the Santa Fe margarita, which was discouraging to him because it was pink and a tad bit emasculating, but he's secure enough in his manhood and the drink turned out delicious. Much better than the hibiscus margarita. The queso was typical Tex Mex, and of decent quality. Very reminiscent of the Trudy's variety. We got an appetizer of the Escabeche - pickled carrots, cauliflower, onions & jalapenos. It looked very appealing, but when I went in for a bite I was surprised. On top of being very vinegar-y, it was cold. I know this was on purpose, and not some sort of weird mistake from the kitchen, but it was still unappetizing. I coldn't bring myself to eat more than just the cauliflower bits. The rest of the concoction sat on the table untouched.

Mariah: By the time my meal arrived, migas smothered in queso, I felt like I had regained my food composure. Which was why i was so surprised that the taste, but more importantly the texture of their migas absolutely blew me away. The eggs were perfectly cooked, neither too wet nor too dry. They were perfectly laced with a spicey and flavorful pepper and onion (and whatever else Curra's uses to make the migas taste so yummy). The fried tortilla strips, usually soggy in most migas, were the perfect texture with a slightly yielding crispness. The previously bland queso made a perfect creamy complement to the spicy egg mixture. I believe Curra's is now the new par of migas perfection in Austin.

Mariah: Bachelor #4 ordered the dinner dish I normally get at Curra's, the Cochinita Pibil, a smokey anise flavored shredded pork dish wrapped in a banana leaf served with sweetened plantains. The Cochinita is served miga style, you wrap the various ingredients into a tortilla to eat. The quality and taste are amazing though. The shredded pork is cooked in thin somewhat sweet sauce that binds the pork shreds into an beautiful dark brown mass of goodness. The large green banana leaf (probably not the one it was cooked in) the pork is served on ads a nice color contrast that adds to the ultimate appeal of the dish. I haven't tried some of the more pedestrian Mexican dishes at Curra's, but if it sounds good on the menu, it will more than likely taste good too.

Laura: I originally wanted the veggie tacos as they came with nopalitos, avocado, mushrooms and veggie chorizo, but when Lach started pointing at the award winning veggie enchiladas containing grilled zuchinni, mushrooms, onion, squash & spinach and suggested to split it, I was easily pursuaded. I pick my battles in life and this was a battle where I figured I would be the winner either way. The dish arrived and we dug in. The zuchinni chunks were a little overcooked, but the rest of the enchiladas worked well (but I wouldn't say award winningly) together. Unfortunately, I was a little bit cheesed-out at this point by the queso dip so I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. Next time I'll fight for the tacos.

Bottom Line: Funky Austin atmosphere, quality Interior Mexican, great migas

Mariah - 9

Laura - 8

Melting Pot

305 E. 3rd Street

Austin, Tx

(512) 401-2424

13343 N Highway 183

Austin, TX

(512) 401-2424

http://www.meltingpot.com/

Being the good daughter that I am, when Mother’s Day rolled around, I tried to plan a special day to celebrate how awesome my mom is (and I’m not partial, she really is). My mom has done everything in her power to help me succeed in life. Everything from putting me through college (thanks again mom and dad), to driving me half way across America (while I had pneumonia no less) so that I could go on my grade school field from Chicago to Virginia. She always cooks me yummy dinners and had the forethought enough to make me do my own laundry when I was a teenager so I wouldn’t screw it up once I got to college. I could go on and on extolling the virtues of my mom, but I’m sure you don’t want to hear those; you want to hear about where we went for Mother’s Day. We went to, what in my opinion is now, the greatest place to celebrate Mother’s Day – The Melting Pot.

Now when I lived in Fort Worth, high end chain restaurants like The Melting Pot, Simply Fondue, Fogo de Chao (as mentioned in the previous review), etc were de rigueur. Places like that aren’t too bad, in fact they’re usually pretty tasty, but I much prefer my experiences at unique (and non-chain) Austin restaurants. But (and here comes the but), I LOVE fondue. Its one of those foods that’s fun to eat, tasty, and is a great way to spend a long meal with someone (and trust me, when you eat fondue it’s a loooong meal – but more on that in a minute). But more importantly, my mom loved fondue. When she would come to visit me in Fort Worth, we spent many an evening at one of DFW’s many fondue places enjoying a hot of melty cheese or chocolate. So when I heard Austin finally had a fondue restaurant, I immediately knew I had to take my mom there for Mother’s Day. I called up to make reservations the Tuesday before Mother’s Day thinking there wouldn’t be any reservations left. Surely everyone else, unlike my procrastinating self, would have the foresight enough to call ahead weeks in advance to make reservations. Apparently not. I had no trouble getting us a table, I was even able to get us a special table (more on that in a minute too), AND they even offered to put a vase of fresh roses on the table that Mom could take with her. And here’s the best part, because we wanted to have a late lunch, they were offering all this at a special Mother’s Day discounted rate. How cool is that!

The Melting Pot is rather conveniently (or inconveniently) located in the new Convention Center Food District. It’s on the same block as the other quality national chains that broker for Convention traffic: Roy’s, PF Changs, Fogo de Chao, and to a lesser extent Dona Emilia’s. So with all those other options, why would you choose the Melting Pot? Three words: Chocolate Cookie Fondue. But I'll get to that in a minute.

Let me describe how the Melting Pot is layed out. The inside is dark and cavern-like, but tastefully decorated as all high end small chain restaurants are these days. Lots of dark wood and silver. That makes the Melting Pot really special, however, are the individual rooms. Yes, that's right, call ahead for reservations and you too can reserve one of a dozen or so totally private tables. Each room has its own table, complete with fondue burner, and a frosted glass pocket door to separate you from other other low-brow restaurant go-ers (I mean seriously, who wants to associate with those schlubs??). I highly recommend that if you eat here, you reserve one of these rooms just for the novelty of it.

Normally, the fondue operates on a per person prix fix pricing scale. The table chooses one type of cheese fondue, chocolate fondue, and in the middle, the type of entree cooking style. The cooking style is normally oil or a flavored broth. The oil is fun because they bring out a host of batters to cover your meat in, but the broth is healthier and just as tasty (and won't leave you smelling like you just deep fried your clothes). I think they normally have some sort of beer broth, and a more flavorful broth - when we went, it was coq au vin. Mom (who got to choose) went with the coq au vin. Once the table chooses a cooking style, everyone chooses their meat plate. They offer a mixed plate of tenderloin, chicken breast, sausage, shrimp, scallops and veggies that I normally recommend to fondue beginners. But, they also offer more steak, lobster, and veggie options.

Once you have the general outline of the meal figured out, you pick fondue flavors. For the cheese fondue, we chose the "Wisconsin Trio." Having grown up an almost cheesehead, I was most delighted with that choice. The trio was a rich blend of fontina, butterkase, and surprisingly blue cheese with some garlic, wine, scallions and sherry thrown in for good measure. The coolest part about the cheese course is they make it right in front of you. Your server brings out a large tray covered in cheese, and other delectable ingredients, starts the fondue burner and mixes up the cheese while you drool at the smell. Once its warmed up and melted, they bring you bowls filled with a variety of breads, fruits and veggies to dip in the cheese. It was incredible. There's nothing better than cheese, especially if its hot and melty and on top of a crisp green apple. The dippers as we'll call them were all fresh and tasty. No dry, stale bread and drippy cheese like at Cru. This fondue's the real deal.

Once you've gorged yourself on cheese, the server brings out a scalding hot pot of your chosen broth style. When it first comes out, its covered with a clamped on lid and looks something like a medieval torture device. Stay clear of this until your server tells you its safe. You wouldn't want to be a "hot coffee" lap casualty. But once it's safe, you grab your handy color coded skewer - each person gets their own color so you know who's is who's - spear a piece of meat, and start cooking. It generally takes about 2-3 minutes for each piece to cook, so you get a rhythm going, and rotating out through your 3 skewers so you always have tasty food on your plate. Oh, they also bring 4 or 5 different sauces to dip your meat into. The yogurt Curry is the best but stay away from the sweet and sour. Its pretty gross. This was probably the weakest part of the meal. After cooking quality meat in great smelling broth, you want something interesting and savory to dip your meat into. Not just a crappy teriyaki or horseradish sauce.

Added Note: After seeing Lee's comment, it reminded me of the funniest part of the fondue experience. When you lose a bit of food in the fondue broth, you use this big slotted spoon to fish it out. Now this slotted spoon isn't called just anything, it's called the "David Hasselhoff." So we all got a good giggle when we'd lose a piece of chicken in the broth and would have to ask someone to "Pass the Hoff."

Just when you think you're so full you could hardly eat anything else, they bring out.. The chocolate. You're table has to agree upon one type of chocolate fondue, but when you have such choices as Bailey's Milk Chocolate Fondue or Smores Fondue, is anyone really a loser? My mother, in her infinite wisdom chose Chocolate Cookie Fondue. It was a rich dark chocolate swirled with marshmallow fluff with bits of Oreo cookies mixed in. It was incredible. You get a plate of the most decedent desserts to dip in said fondue. Anything from angel food cake to marshmallows to brownies to a slice of cheesecake. Yes you read that right, a slice of cheesecake. I can't think of a more perfect dessert.

The plus about a fondue meal is also the minus. All this extravagance takes about 2-3 hours to complete and really do it justice. Cooking meat in broth in is a time consuming endeavour. But if you've got the time, I suggest you try it at least once. Its fun and tasty and a great way to connect with your family.

Bottom Line: Fun to eat food that tastes great

Mariah - 9.5

Twin Peaks

701 E. Stassney Lane
Austin, Texas 78745
512-383-9699

100 Louis Henna Boulevard
Round Rock, Texas 78664
Phone: 512-238-7325

http://www.twinpeaksrestaurant.com/

Have you ever been cursed before? I mean really and truly cursed? I'm talking the kind of metaphysical malediction originating from the occult...all packed with bad ju-ju. I'm talking about being the target of a mal-aligned spiritual energy, the likes of which you only see on afternoon documentaries on the Discovery channel. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I've been cursed. I just know it. I don't know how it came about. I must have slapped a gypsy or cut off a witch doctor in traffic a couple of weeks ago, but something strange and supernatural has been happening to me. (For any gypsies or witch doctors reading this, I mean no offense here. So, no need to retaliate against me....one damnation at a time is plenty, thank you.) What's really bothersome, though, is that I think it might have been someone I know because the effects of this spell have been so personal---hitting me right where it counts...in my dining experience.

Let me back up a couple of steps. A couple of weeks ago, Mariah and Laura gave me an opportunity to guest blog about a somewhat bad dining experience I had at Ms. B's here in Austin. Little did I know that was just the beginning of things. Since then, eating out about 4 times a week, I have had nothing but incredibly bad service at restaurants here in town. Trust me, if there has been a bartender, waitress, hostess, manager, table busser, or cook who was a trainee, having an off day, or was just dumped by her boyfriend; you can bet your butt that person was going to somehow be involved with my dining experience. The effects have ranged from small to large. From being double charged for entrees to given the wrong order to having my order lost altogether. I've seen it all lately. Hell, on two occasions, I've even had the hostess give away my table to another party AFTER seating my son and myself. There was one humorous occasion where I had ordered a salad. I was served the wrong one and kindly asked my waitress to correct the order. She brought me back the same salad plate with the correct salad order simply layered over the wrong one. If that isn't the sign of some weird restaurant-based jinx, I don't know what is.

Well, the curse reared it's ugly head again last night. My kiddo and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie with my buddy Bo. (Great movie, by the way). It was about dinner time after the flick, so we decided to go grab something to eat. Bo deferred the selection to me given my foodie status. So, after carefully accounting for the tastes of who was going, the time, and location, I chose Twin Peaks in Round Rock. I'd like to say that I just made a bad choice, but with this jinx hanging over me, I just can't be sure...

Austin and I get to this restaurant before Bo and are seated immediately. Let's cover the restaurant itself first. It's very much a Hooters-esque type of estabishment. Lots of gorgeous (and not so gorgeous) waitresses in short shorts and plaid tops tied just below the bustline. I'm not typically one to notice someone's shoes, but they were all wearing furry bootlike shoes...I guess to compliment the restaurant's mountaineer type lumberjack theme. Since I had arrived before Bo, I had a few minutes to check out other qualities of the restaurant. The music selection played over the speaker system was decent...mostly 80's top 40 type stuff, but it was almost uncomfortably loud. They've also got free wireless there, too.

Well, enough about that. Onto the curse. My waitress stopped by to take drink orders for Austin and myself. I simply order a Coke for him and a Dr. Pepper for myself. Minutes later, she brings back Austin's soda and says, "I'm sorry. I don't remember what you ordered." I know. I know. With the curse going on, I should have taken this as a sign to leave. But, for some reason, I thought that was as bad as it was going to get. Nope. Time to order food. I asked for the Kid's Nachos for Austin and the Sirloin Chili Nachos for myself. 5 minutes later, the waitress brings Austin's order and says, "I'm sorry. I don't remember what you ordered." OMG!!!! Are you kidding me?!?!? It was at this point that Bo showed up to discover a smiling Austin eating away and me with my face buried in my palms.

My next request was a new waitress to whom I explained the situation of the curse and told her how I had ordered a kids nacho for a Sirloin Chili Nacho. This young lady was quite nice and very eager to help right any wrongs. But, alas. She was just another mere mortal doing battle with an unseen and unimaginable force. The poor girl never even knew what happened.

The menu listed two types of soup, which Bo ordered one of each...a bowl of each. He ordered the Sirloin Chili and the Corn Chowder. Our new waitress brought him 2 different soups of the wrong size. Great. The spell is no longer just affecting me, but it's decided to badger my dining companions as well. On the bright side, Bo said the Corn Chowder was great. His preference is for a thicker soup and he didn't find the soup too watery for his tastes. The Sirloin Chili on the other hand, had great flavor he said, but he was really expecting large chunks of sirloin, not something with more the texture of ground beef. Still, he gave it a thumbs up.

I did eventually get what I wanted, but I couldn't eat too much of it. It wasn't that the food was bad. I had just loaded myself up on a second order of the kids meal (that showed up unannounced somewhere along the course of the meal) and I was pretty full by then.

Mariah and Laura, I'm sorry ladies, but I am not going to give this restaurant a rating at this time. I couldn't in good conscience rate this place while I'm still fairly convinced that the service I experienced was due to an unexplained cult phenomenon. I will say that the food (that I got to experience) was of a decent caliber for this type of restaurant. I will also add that I'll be going back once this hex has been broken. In the meantime, I'll be stockpiling lucky rabbit's feet, avoiding black cats and walking under ladders like the plague, and might even consider weaving myself a necklace out of wolfsbane and garlic. I don't plan to let any mirrors within a football field's length of my person; will keep an eye out for any pennies heads up; and if I have anything to say about it, the upcoming Friday the 13th will find me curled in a fetal position in my bathtub covered with blankets rather than venturing out for food and drink.

Bottom line: Never eat out when there's some strange curse affecting you. It's just bad mojo.

Lee - ??

OK, as I mentioned in my latest comment below, I feel that my curse is finally over. I still don't know what caused it or how I ended it, but I'm not going to question it. I feel that I can finally venture forth in Austin again to enjoy the great food and restaurants that our wonderful city has to offer. Of course, it doesn't mean that I'm still not going to be wary. I plan to be on the best of terms with any supernatural entity I should meet from here on out. Now, I have been back to the Twin Peaks in Round Rock since the spell got lifted, and I'm able to give a rating. I rate it with a 4.5. Mediocre service and food. Thanks to my anonymous friend from the comments, though, I've decided that in order to give this place a really objective opinion, I'll have to hit the South Austin location sooner or later....

The Oasis

6550 Comanche Trl

Austin, TX

(512) 266-2442

http://www.oasis-austin.com/

So my crazy week of dating continued on Sunday with Bachelor #4. After the late night with Bachelor #3 the previous evening and the late night with Bachelors #1 and #2 before, I was psyched to sleep in on Sunday and recover. I was glad when Bachelor #4 suggested a quiet afternoon.. at a kids birthday party! Apparently his co-worker's kid was turning 3 and they were having a BBQ. And being the food whore that I am, I will always readily agree to eat someone else's tasty homemade BBQ. We made our way up to the ends of the Earth or Cedar Park, who's mayor I happen to work with (remind me never to move to Cedar Park). You know when the tollway ends, you've reached parts unknown. I swear I saw a dragon somewhere around Avery Ranch Rd.

All through college and even into my mid-twenties I was very ambivalent to children. I liked them alright, but I wasn't sure if having offspring was the right path for me. I figured I would get to it later. Well now later has arrived, and surprising, when I turned 28, something crazy in my brain (or my ovaries) switched on. My biological clock started not just ticking, but screaming at me. So the party was nice but there were noisy kids everywhere. It reminded me again why I don't have any little rugrats yet. I am at least temporary inoculated from the crazy hormones my womanly parts and spewing into my body.

We made our excuses after eating the yummy BBQ chicken and headed back to our original destination the Oasis. Since I live at the south end of 620 and the party was at the north end of 620, we figured we'd take the opportunity to see the sunset at The Oasis. Now I don't know if you've ever been to the Oasis or if you've been in the past 2 years, but its TOTALLY different. They've expanded about 2,000% into a totally new building. The new Oasis is like a catacomb of staircases, landings, patios, and crazy bronze statues. And it is Spectacular. Perched atop Lake Travis, The Oasis probably has the best view in the State of Texas. Seriously. The network of patios allow you the perfect vantage point to watch the shimmering water and the sunset over the Hill Country. I can't express to you in words how amazing the location of the restaurant is.

The food, however, is another issue. The food is awful. Practically inedible. I've had overcooked, undercooked, and just plain tasteless food there. The menu consists mainly of staple Tex-Mex bar food. Nachos, burgers, enchiladas, fajitas, that sort of thing. I chose to have my birthday dinner there, mostly to enjoy the view and I was thoroughly unimpressed. But, man, that view was spectacular. It makes you forget how awful the food is. What the Oasis does do well, however, are margaritas. They make a pretty tasty Cazadores margarita. Totally drinkable while you sit on the patio and watch the sunset.

Bachelor #4 and I happened to go on Sunday. We opted not to eat as we'd both had the food and decided we weren't THAT hungry. So we went up to the bar on the top floor. The bar isn't just any old bar, its an entire dance floor, seating, a huge stage, and a large patio section. The band was playing great salsa music and people were dancing away. Made me wish I had remembered my salsa lessons from when I was bored in Fort Worth. We sat by the huge glass windows overlooking the lake and watched the sunset while drinking margaritas, and listening to the peppy salsa music. That's the way the Oasis should be enjoyed.

Bottom Line: Crappy food, INCREDIBLE atmosphere, and the margaritas rock

Mariah: 8.5 (A 5 for food and a 12 for atmosphere so lets split the difference)

Fino

2905 San Gabriel Street

Austin, TX 78705

(512) 474-2905

http://www.finoaustin.com/

Oh, my fellow foodies, how busy life gets sometimes. I feel bad for abandoning you these past 2 weeks to take care of the banalities of life (like school projects and work), but sometimes you have to put down the things you love in order to finish the things you don’t. But rest assured, I didn’t deny myself the only pleasure I seem to be getting these days, food (aside from the dates I had this weekend, but I don’t kiss and tell)! I happened to go to two restaurants in the last few weeks that need reviewing. I’ll start with the latest, the one new restaurant I went to last week, Fino.

Fino is actually located in an area I know really really well, at 29th and San Gabriel. When I was in college, I spent a year living in a houseful of men, at my engineering fraternity’s house, which as it happened, was nicknamed “The House” (sounds ominous, right?, well if you spent any time in that bathroom, you’d think so too). The House was an old 1930’s west campus house with bad plumbing, bad walls, bad smells, but oh was it fun place to live. The yard was surrounded in thick, tall bamboo and we used to have these incredible keggers there. Think make out rooms, 2-story beer bongs, and a huge yard to throw up in when you’d had enough. That place was made to be a party house! It was located right at the intersection of 29th and San Gabriel. We used to get all liquored up and walk across Granite Café, the local high end restaurant and pretend to spend money we didn’t have on food we never bought. But they did have a nice patio and for a college student Granite Café was about as swanky as it got.

Flash forward 8 year (yikes!!) to groovy 2008. Lee invited me out for dinner and since I knew I’d need a break from all the school work I’ve been doing I said sure. Let me tell you, if I wanted to relive my college years of pretending to eat at Granite Café I still could, because the place hasn’t changed one bit. Now don’t get me wrong, its really a nice location. Its on the second floor of a nice brick shopping center and basically takes up the whole top of the shopping center. A generous wrap around veranda with tons of outdoor seating, lovely bamboo blinds to keep the sun out, large wicker furniture, and a nice breeze wafting in from Shoal Creek, gives the restaurant has a nice tropical atmosphere. The inside (where I have to admit I’ve never spent much time), seems nice and upscale. Large picture windows bring the tropical atmosphere into the interior of the restaurant while a large bar creates an open space that is segmented by small screens for more privacy.

I sat down and immediately ordered a sangria, the house specialty. It came in a smaller glass than I was hoping, but was a really amazing drink. Little pieces of apples and oranges danced with ice cubes in the ruby liquid. The red wine was neither too sweet nor too bitter. Very tasty. At that point Lee came walking up looking like a Vietnamese Mexican (sorry bud, you’ve been spending waay too much time in San Antonio lately). But we settle and I ordered tapas, calamari and crab bourekia, and decided to get the paella (which requires 30 minutes to cook, btw). Well, technically we only ordered a crab bourekia but a few minutes later what should happen to show up but calamari. We waited a few minutes for the waitress to come back but when she didn’t we decided to dig in. I was hungry and I’ll never turn down good calamari!

The calamari was fresh and the breading was decent. Nothing too spectacular. It was fried to a perfect golden color though. There’s nothing I hate more than overfried calamari. But the sauce. Well, the “smoked paprika mojo picon” sauce was AWFUL. Bleh. I think they mixed tomato sauce with liquid smoke and served it up for us. Avoid if at all possible. By then the waitress had come back and when we pointed out that we had actually ordered the bourekia she said “My bad!” and the bourekia appeared soon after. The crab bourekia wasn’t all that great either. The phyllo was initially crisp and flaky and the lump Crab, mascarpone & roasted peppers filling tasted good but the whole package together turned out being kind of oily and lackluster.

The paella came out soon after which surprised me, I was expecting it take a lot longer to cook. But then, I was on my 3rd glass of sangria and was enjoying the company. Now, after having the less than stellar tapas, I wasn’t expecting much from the paella. Maybe it was because my guard was down, or maybe it really was that good, but the paella knocked my socks off. The octopus, calamari, and mussels (and maybe sausage but I don’t remember) were cooked perfectly in the moist saffron-tomato infused rice. It had a slightly smoky flavor and the texture of the rice was incredible. Not at all gummy like some paella’s I’ve had, and definitely not dry. Each grain of rice was plumped to Portuguese perfection. I totally glutted myself on it. And to be honest the portion was huge. It is meant for 2 people, but 3 people could easily not finish it and with appetizers it would be the perfect amount for 4 people (if you’re cheap like me).

After the incredible paella, we decided to chance dessert and ordered the lemon pot de crème. I love creamy, lemon desserts. When it comes time to order dessert, I don’t want something heavy and chocolaty; I want something light and tart. I have the mis-begotten belief that it makes my after dinner breath smell better (but I know it’s a lie). Now this lemon pot was perfectly acceptable. It was a great consistency, a nice lemon flavor, not to tart, not too sweet. But if you’re looking for an amazing lemon pot experience, Wink’s lemon cream filled sugar balls (no comments) are soo much better. What was amazing about the fino lemon pot were the Basil-Mint sugar dusted blackberries on top. Basil, mint, sugar, and blackberries are MEANT to live together in harmony in my stomach and that’s where they went. Paired with the lemon pot they were amazing, but there were only 4 of them! If the whole top were covered in those awesome blackberries I’d have given it a much better score.

Overall: Wonderful patio, awesome paella & sangria, stay away from the tapas.. please..

Mariah – 7.5 (9 if you ONLY order sangria & paella and get them to throw in the blackberries)

Mars Restaurant and Bar

Mars Restaurant and Bar
1400 S. Congress
Austin, Texas 78704
http://www.marsaustin.com/

Let me start by telling you how I met Elena.

I got an email from a former Italian coworker of mine asking me to show a new to Austin Italian professor around last fall. The former coworker, Walter, is an easy going fun guy in his fifties, so naturally I assumed that this Italian professor would be around his age.

I was preparing in my mind for activities to take such a person to. It was late October and the whole 6th street on Halloween debacle seemed entirely inappropriate, so I searched my brain and decided that a simple brunch was a good introductory session. This would allow us to size each other up and figure out if a relationship was going to beneficial for friendship, but more likely networking or general about-town knowledge.

The shock came when Elena showed up at my house as a drop dead gorgeous extremely friendly and fashionable grad student of 28. Not at all the powersuited serious 50 something professor I was expecting. I guess something was lost in translation between Walter and me.

The other thing that was lost in translation was that Walter had never actually met Elena.

Flash forward to April. Walter’s time in the US is complete and sadly for us, he is about to go back to Italy. He wants to take a drive down to Austin from DFW to meet and greet his fellow Milano over lunch, and I’m in charge of making arrangements.

It’s a beautiful Texas spring day, the sun is shining and the only requirement I can think of is that I do not want to be stuck indoors. I discuss a few options with Elena and decide on Mars on South Congress. The environment is right and the patio is great. I’ve been there once before and found the food not quite worth all the hype, but decent and I believe it will do for the purpose.

Unfortunately, when Walter shows, we give him the options of Italian, American or Asian and he quickly vetoes Italian and Asian. We convince him to try Mars anyway, marketing it as Asian infused American cuisine, and that if he doesn’t like the menu, we can venture down to South Congress Café.

When we arrive, South Congress Café has an hour long wait, so he reluctantly concedes to Mars. I’m feeling a little guilty at this point, after all the guy did drive 3 hours just to have lunch with us and I’m forcing him to eat a cuisine he despises, but I quickly shrug off the nagging guilt feeling when I spot several items on the limited, but adequate lunch menu that I think will do for even the most staunch Asian food hater.

Walter requests that we eat inside and part of me dies right then and there. I console myself with the reassurance that I have the rest of the afternoon to enjoy the sun.

As we are seated, Lach (my boyfriend for all of you new readers) begins to look around and make running commentary on the décor. He says he’s not sure if he’s in a restaurant, a nightclub or a fetish shop. I see where he’s coming from. The black and red interior comes off as quite gothic, the kind of décor I expected and failed to see at Prague. They are trotting a fine line between stylish and overdone, but somehow seem to pull it off. Perhaps it’s the location, type of cuisine, absence of gargoyles and other cheesy relics, or the accommodating demeanor of the staff that day that seals the deal. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why it works, but it works.

We order a bottle of white wine and hummus/baba ganough to start. The starter comes with grilled flat bread with bits of red pepper infused. It’s just the slightest bit spicy and goes well with the hummus. The baba ganough, on the other hand, is something I could have done without. It tastes to me a bit slimy. Perhaps from too much oil or maybe overcooked eggplant? We munch as we pick out our courses and request more bread.

I choose the Mizuna and Tatsoi Salad with pickled onions, crispy wontons and creamy sesame garlic dressing. Elena decides on Salmon with soy wasabi aioli, sticky rice and vegetable du jor. Walter avoids too much Asian with Wagyu Steak and Frites, and Lach picks the Marinated Tenderloin Salad with croutons, Thai Basil, mint and kim chee vinaigrette.

Our food arrives within a decent amount of time and the portion sizes are not oversized. My salad is fresh and green and the onions are slightly sweet and not overpowering. The crispy wontons remind me of being a kid and overindulging on foods that are terrible for me, like the wontons provided by cheap and greasy Chinese restaurants. It’s a secret shameful pleasure executed in a non greasy way that accentuates the rest of the salad instead of taking it over. I’m not sure if I would describe the dressing as creamy, but the leaves were lightly tossed in something that was very tasty.

Elena’s salmon looked really nice. I watched her carefully pull the skin off the top before diving in. The sticky rice looked unpalatable to me, but the asparagus accompanying the plate looked delicious. Walter had this same asparagus on his plate as well. The style it was cooked in was the only Asian influences his plate contained. The steak seemed nice, and he did not complain. The frites were curly bits of fried potato that looked mildly unappealing and mostly remained on his plate. Lach enjoyed his salad, but was surprised to find that the tenderloin was presented in skewered chunks as opposed to thinly sliced pieces. He admitted to me that he enjoyed Mars more than he had enjoyed his past experience at South Congress Café.

We were all satiated. Walter (being the typical coffee-snob Italian) did not trust the espresso at Mars and suggested we travel to Starbucks to finish our afternoon. I cringed and proposed Mozart’s instead. Not only did I want to avoid the ever-present Starbucks, I could finally get some time outdoors on a nice patio. He agreed to try it and was actually quite surprised. Although he and Elena recoiled at disgust at the ice cream/gelato, he and Lach gave the espresso two thumbs up.

Overall: Asian influenced American food in trendy dark atmosphere. Although overrated amongst most Austin hipsters, it does pull off a good meal and has a fabulous patio perfectly situated on trendy South Congress.

Laura ~ 8 (8 on food, 9 on atmosphere)

Cru

238 W 2nd St

Austin, TX

(512) 472-9463

http://www.cruawinebar.com/

Laura: My good friend David has been recommending Cru for months. Yes folks, it is a chain. I looked at their website to find that they had locations not only in Austin, but also in Dallas, Denver, Plano and the Woodlands. Knowing that it was a big success in Dallas, I wasn’t quite sure it would be my kind of place, but I wanted to find out.

Mariah: I’m still recovering from my 6 years in DFW and haven’t quite been able to wash the stink of that place off me. I generally avoid places that are popular in Dallas but the lure of wine is strong. Probably stronger than my dislike of Dallas.

Laura: Mariah picked me up and we drove down to the ultra trendy and ultra expensive second street district. And if you don’t believe me that it is ultra expensive, consider this- Cru is right next to the clothing store Estilo. I once won a $50 gift certificate there off the radio. When I went to redeem it, I could not find a single decent item I could afford, even with the gift certificate. However, I did find a really awesome designer dress that I had to call my grandmother to talk me out of spending my rent money on.

Laura: Anyway, we get down there and we are looking for parking. I, ever the Eagle Eye, spot a car exiting a spot, so Mariah speeds across three lanes of traffic to swoop in for it, getting flipped off by a rightly pissed off driver in the meantime. My deepest apologies to that poor guy and the sad explanation that neither of us had enough cash to pay to park.

Mariah: Yeah I’m an awesome driver. I had to dust off some aggressive driving skills I learned while living in Chicago. Laura didn’t give that maneuver justice, we were stopped in the far left lane at a traffic light, there were cars in the other two lanes to the right of us. I inched forward and as the light turned green, I sped up quickly (as quickly as my junky Mazda can go) dodged up and around the two other cars in the middle and right lane, into the far right lane, and braked to snag the spot. All in the space of 100 feet. I rock.

Laura: As we walk into Cru and are faced with super swank bar, décor and staff, we notice what an awesome patio they have and request to be seated there. We get a couple of funky glances and are seated in a two person table in between another crowded table, a walkway for the wait staff, and a large back of a sofa chair that is making me extremely claustrophobic. When I express my concerns, what seems like the manager turns very passive-aggressive. One second he apologizes kindly, and the next minute his voice turns arrogant as he explains that there are no other tables available. Then he turns back to Dr. Jekyll as he offers to let us scoot our table and chairs over, and then after I explain to him that we would be in the walkway of the wait staff if we did that, he again changes to Mr. Hyde and tells us we will have to sit inside if we are uncomfortable with our chairs and explains that some customers like the privacy the side of the couch provides.

Laura: “I can deal” I say. It’s too nice of an evening to be inside. A really sweet and really cute waitress comes over and offers beverages and food. Its half price champagne night so Mariah and I go for a bottle of Perrier-Jouet, something we’d never choose normally, but at half price is so reasonable.

Mariah: The patio here is really nice. It’s more of a fenced off portion of the sidewalk. But the inside of the bar and the patio are open to each other creating a nice airy effect. It reminds me of a Paris sidewalk café. After we were seated, I looked over the wine menu. I had already eaten at Chez Nous (the review is forthcoming) so I didn’t bother long with the food menu.

Laura: But I was in need of some grub, so I start scanning the food menu. They have a few pizzas, a few meaty entrees, a couple of salads, and some interesting looking cheese flights. I was feeling extremely indecisive, so I eenie meenie miney moed and ordered White Truffle Oil Cheese Fondue with apples, carrot and rustic bread.

Laura: The clientele was varied. Mariah had a better look at all of this than I did, as I was being sequestered by the sofa wall. She explained to me that people were going between tables inside and that the place seemed very friendly. But the patio seemed full of girls with fresh highlights and $1000 Fendi purses. And not the knockoff ones my friends (Mariah) have.

Mariah: Whatever. My knock-off Fendi is awesome. I definitely see how this place works though. If you don’t have a seating preference they put the young good looking people out on the patio and the older less trendy people inside. Thats probably why the host looked a little nervous when we asked to sit on the patio (despite there being 6 or 7 open tables) and why were were seated behind a large couch. Apaprently we don't look cool enough to sit on their patio. Its filled with young 20-something (some looked even younger though) with short skirts, flat ironed hair, Abercrombe& Fitch polos, and way too much hair gel. The people inside looked normal and were clearly having a good time. There was a lot of laughing and table hopping. I’m guessing the place has quite a few regulars. But I wonder if they see the lipstick segregation.

Laura: I didn't notice the segregation (thanks again, Sofa Wall). And I don't understand it. So what I was wearing flip flops and don't have an expensive purse? We're two really cute girls! And this is Austin damn you. Flip flops here ARE couture. Anyway, the champagne was young but not send back worthy, although at full price ($70) I would have been horribly disappointed.

Mariah: It was really green. It was very acidic and didn’t have a good balance of flavors. I’ve had better bottles of $40 champagne (Nicky Fou Rose or Moet White Star)

Laura: A waiter or waitress came by every minute and a half to refill our glasses. This tactic kept us drinking at a quick pace. The fondue arrived and I went in for a bite. Initially, the cheese was very liquid (as expected when warm) and the apples and carrots were fine, but the bread was hard as a rock. Even after soaking it in the fondue, it still did not give.

Mariah: Seriously! That bread was stale! It was disgusting. I don’t know if that’s the effect they were going for. I understand there’s a time and a place for stale bread (bread pudding, yum!), but not normally when you’re just eating it plain.

Laura: As time passed on, and the fondue cooled, it never thickened in the least bit and did not adhere to the apples or carrots. We used our scientific reasoning to deduct that it was heavily diluted with milk and wine. At this point my tongue started to swell a bit. Guys, I’m about to admit something. I’m mildly allergic to cheap wine. I found this out on a trip to boyfriend’s dad’s for Thanksgiving when they busted out with the notorious bang for buck bottle of Two Buck Chuck and my entire mouth swelled. When my tongue started swelling at Cru, we had long finished our bottle of champagne, making me think that the wine in the fondue was scraped from the bottom of the grape stomper’s feet.

Mariah: We also noticed the previously ever present (and pouring) waitress disappeared the second we finished our bottle and decided we weren’t going to order another. We literally sat there for 10 or 15 minutes waiting for her to come back so we could settle out bill. Finally we had to flag down Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde to get our check.

Laura: We asked for our check and found that they had charged us full price for the champagne. Kind of cheeky, eh? After having the problem corrected by Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, we left, vowing not to return.

Overall: Cheeky attitude of restaurant staff/management. Full price bottles are overpriced. Fondue sucks. But goddamn that patio is nice… if you can avoid the $30k Millionaires and lumbering furniture.

Laura: 4
Mariah: 5 (The patio IS really nice)

Nunzia's

7720 Tx-71 W
Austin, TX
(512) 394-0220

http://www.nunzias.com/

Mariah: The week before last, Laura was preparing to go on her big Mexican Adventure. She had planned on doing her laundry the Wednesday night before she left, but Wednesday rolled around and she found herself sick and far too tired to trek to a Laundromat or to someone’s house. So Thursday morning she awoke in a tizzy with the realization that she was leaving in a day and her laundry wasn’t finished. I suggested she do what my wonderful working mother had done when I was growing up and take it to the cleaners. They’ll wash, press or fold any laundry you bring them, often with same day service. So Laura did some research and found a reputable cleaners with an in by 9 out by 6 same day policy. So she dutifully brought her clothes to the Laundromat only to have them inform her that it was 9:03 and the truck had already left.

Laura: Can you believe that? 3 measly little minutes?

Mariah: So I did the only thing a good friend would do in a situation like this, I offered up my washer and dryer. That afternoon, we sat on my patio with Eric and Cory enjoying the 3 degrees of Hill Country view you can see from my apartment. Around 8, though, our stomachs started grumbling so we struck out in search of food. Since this was my end of town, I suggested a nice joint about a mile from my apartment called Nunzia’s. It used to be the Y Bar and Grill but the owners and the name have since changed to Nunzia’s. I’d eaten there dozens of times as both the Y Bar and Grill and as Nunzia’s, so I figured it was a pretty safe bet for some tasty food on the south end of town.

Laura: I’d never been before so I was up for trying it. By the way, thanks for letting me borrow the good ole W/D.

Mariah: The first thing you notice as you enter the restaurant is the huge glass door you have to pass through. It’s not a normal door hinged at the edge, but its some crazy-hinged futuristic door contraption that throws you off when you try to open it. The inside of the restaurant is lovely though. It backs up to a wooded creek and is very rustic. The floors are red glazed concrete, there are several frosted glass accents, but the décor manages to mesh together providing a warm and inviting atmosphere. There is also a large patio on one side that also abuts the wooded creek. Its covered with fans and heaters providing a sufficient level of temperature control to make it habitable most of the year. In the summer, they usually have bands that provide a nice ambiance to the patio.

Laura: My first thought was that the door was really heavy and confusing and that the ceilings were high. But overall the restaurant showed serious potential. Calling it a creek was a bit of a stretch, but it was nicer than sitting next to the highway.

Mariah: We were seated on the patio and immediately started perusing the menu. It all looked pretty tasty (from my perspective). There were a dozen or so delectable sounding appetizers, a decent selection of salads, a dozen pasta entrees and an equal number of grilled dishes. Cory and I, both aficionados of raw meat decided to split a tuna tartar appetizer while Eric opted for a French onion soup. For entrees, Cory and I both got pasta, his was spaghetti with meatballs, mine with Bolognese.

Laura: The menu had a lot to offer, but I was still feeling a little under the weather so I went for a salad. I debated back and forth between the warm goat cheese salad (arugula, spinach, walnuts, poached pears, tangerine and pomegranate vinaigrette) and a mango habanero salad (field greens, mango, avocado, fried won-tons and red and green bell peppers.) I decided on the warm goat cheese salad as it seemed safer for my healing stomach to avoid anything spicy.

Mariah: The appetizers arrived and we dug in… Then stopped.. Cory’s and my tuna wasn’t too bad, but there was a surprising lack of tuna dipping sauce; not being the greatest quality tuna, a sauce was needed. We quickly ran through the drizzle of red chili mayo on our plate so we stopped the waiter to request more. But he didn’t just bring us more of the red chili mayo, be brought a green wasabi sauce as well. That’s when we realized the plating only had one sauce and a meager dribble at that. I started to get a little surly, but one mistake is forgivable. That’s when Eric piped in that his soup was cold. Not just cool or room temperature, but cold. We flagged the waiter down again and sent the soup back for a little more heat. To appease us, he brought out a big loaf of rosemary garlic bread. Now I have to say, the bread was excellent. It was reminiscent of the bread you get at Macaroni Grill, but better (I’m sorry I had to mention that dreadful place, I hope I don’t give any of you fellow foodie’s nightmares tonight).

Laura: Mariah forgot to mention the incessant physical contact the waiter was giving the men. And not the “I want to take you home” kind of contact, more the “hey I read in a psychology book somewhere that waiters who physically connect with their customers get tipped more” kind of way.

I agree, the bread was good, but I feel the need to address the soup issue.

When the soup was delivered, Eric realized he had ordered the wrong size (the waiter hadn't asked if he had wanted a bowl or a cup so he ended up with a bowl.) At that point, I did the honorable thing and offered to split it with him. We asked the waiter to bring an extra bowl so that we could share the soup. Now a good waiter would have the kitchen divide the soup up into two smaller bowls, but not doing so is nothing to get upset about. However, the waiter not only did not have the forethought to split the food into two, he also forgot the extra bowl several times and when it finally arrived, it was basically tossed at me.

Now on to the technical merits- They served it in a large open bowl so that it wouldn’t keep heat. Also, they used way too many croutons, which completely made the dish more into a way garlic-y turkey stuffing gone awry kind of thing. It just made it even worse when they re-heated it. The re-heating caused the croutons to soak up the soup until the bowl was just full of wet disintigrating bread.

Mariah: Eric’s soup came back suitably re-heated about the same time as out entrees. We were all getting a little more than peeved about the quality of our food. The chef was that night must have been smoking crack to let such huge mistakes out of his kitchen. The entrees were ok, not anything to write home about. My Bolognese pasta was on par with (brace yourselves) Macaroni Grill, and Cory’s meatballs, while better weren’t really anything special either.

Laura: My salad didn’t seem to taste very good, but I hadn’t eaten in 9 hours, so I gobbled it up anyway. The goat cheese was… weird. It was fried in some sort of batter reminiscent of the coating on Sonic jalapeno poppers (which by the way was next door). I’m not knocking Sonic jalapeno poppers, but they have their time and place, and that time and place is late after a night out or in the middle of a long road trip, not on my dinner salad.

Mariah: I asked to try a bite of Laura’s goat cheese and was shocked and appalled at the sub-par quality of the goat cheese. It was sharp and acrid and had a distinct “off” flavor, not the usual creamy delicious goat cheese I’m used to having (it wasn’t even the slightly goat-y tasting goat cheese that I don’t care for but eat sometimes anyway). That’s when I got mad. We had suffered one food insult after another. I flagged the waiter down and asked to speak to Manager. He looked affronted and immediately took a defensive posture. He didn’t say “Yes Ma’am” or “I’ll get him immediately” he instead chose to say “Why?.” I got even more pissed off. And said in my firmest bitch slave-driver voice, “I would like to speak to the manager please.” Without saying anything else, he turned and walked off.

We waited patiently for probably about 5 minutes before the waiter reappeared. “The manager has left for the evening,” he said. I think at that point I snapped. “Can I speak to the Manager on duty??” I mean was this guy really that crass and stupid not to produce another manager? That’s when he said (and I still don’t know whether to believe him or not), “I am the manager on duty.” At that point I was so pissed I ripped into him. I told him about the poor plating of the tuna appetizer, the cold soup, the off taste of the goat cheese, and about the general poor quality of a usually very fine dining establishment! And did he say “I’m sorry Ma’am” or lie and say their cook was training new staff tonight? No. That asshole said “well you didn’t send anything back I can’t do anything.” I think he thought we were trying to skip our bill! The nerve! I tried in my calm but iciest voice to tell him that it wasn’t that the food was inedible, it was just not up to the standard excellent quality I had experienced at this establishment on numerous occasions. After going back and forth with him, he finally offered to comp a few things for us. I really wanted him to say “I’m so sorry, I’ll talk to the manager about it tomorrow and have him call you.” But I didn’t want to argue with him anymore and let him comp us whatever he was going to. I think he ended up halving our bill down to $30. And honestly, it was a perfectly adequate $40 meal, but would have been a tragic $80 meal.

Laura: Yeah, the food was pretty gross and we were treated like freeloaders by a skeezy waiter. I felt like I was at Chili’s in the burbs. Worst of all, Mariah was mildly embarrassed for even having suggested the place. It’s ok, Mariah. Restaurant management changes, food suppliers flake, cooks quit, and well, another restaurant knocked off our list. C’est la vie.

Bottom Line: Used to be good, sucks now, poor quality, crappy service

Laura - 3
Mariah - 5 (but only because they have a history of being good, but I won't be going back any time soon)

Sampaio's

4800 Burnet
Austin, Tx 78756

512-469-9988

http://www.sampaiosrestaurant.com/

Mariah: So on Tuesday nights Laura and I usually head someplace for dinner and girl time. It’s become sort of a semi-regular ritual and last night was no exception. We decided to meet up at 8:00 so that we wouldn’t have to deal with the caucus voting yahoos filling the road. We e-mailed back and forth all afternoon trying to figure out which establishment to bless with our hot selves. We threw around Jeffries and Casa de Luz but neither of us felt really strongly about any one location. I looked at my handy dandy event calendar to figure out if there was anything fun going on around town, and being a typical Tuesday night, there wasn’t a whole lot. We eventually decided to get a pizza and watch Moulin Rouge at Rounders. But somewhere between that decision and 8:00, Elena decided to come eat with us. Since she is leaving for Italy on Friday, Laura had just gotten back from her crazy Colorado ski trip, and I’d had a rockin weekend I made an executive decision to nix Rounders movie night in favor of someplace we could more easily converse. But where? I picked up Laura and we headed to the Triangle to get Elena and the whole time we were going back and forth. “Where do you want to eat” “I dunno, where do you want to eat?” “I asked you first” and other childishness ensued. By the time we got Elena, we had decided against sushi, Mexican, or Indian. So where do we go? We had almost decided on Thai food when a bright idea popped into Laura’s head “Why don’t we try that Brazilian place Sampaio’s?” Genius.

Laura: Mariah and I would have been doing our patriotic duty of caucusing too except somehow my registration slipped through the cracks (I smell a conspiracy) and Mariah had just plain forgotten to re-register with her new Austin address. Oh well, Brazilian food it is.

When we arrived, I realized Sampaio was right next to Blue Star Cafeteria, another establishment I’ve been dying to try. We surveyed them both before making our final decision.

Mariah: When we took a peak into the Sampaio window to see if it was worthy of our moola, Elena basically lit up, making the choice obvious. It was very nice and upscale on the inside. Hard wood floors, exposed brick walls, a giant, fluted, blue tiled pillar in the center of the room (something reminiscent of a shape I’d have to find the volume of in calculus 101). And the smell emanating from within was amazing. Smoke, meat, spice, oh my. We quickly took a seat in a corner booth and hunkered down.

Laura: They sat us beneath a severely out of place painting of the Jesus and the Virgin Mary. We became quite confused at what kind of décor they were really going for- trendy colored tile lounge or da Vinci Code-esque goth? Thinking this hard made me want a drink.

Mariah: Our waiter in training showed up quickly enough and Laura ordered some egg drink (ew). I ordered some tasty tasty cheese bread for the table and Elena decided to try something new and got the Mandioca Griddles (yucca cakes). The cheese bread was out lightening fast and the yacca cakes followed a few minutes later. The cheese bread was tasty, but not the soft cheesy, doughy balls I used to get at Texas de Brazil and Fogo de Chao. These cheese balls were a little crustier on the outside but were still good to eat.

Laura: It’s called a Pisco Sour you uncultured woman. ;) The bread tasted just like those Thanksgiving day rolls all us southerners know and love- if they were injected mid-baking with cheese.

Mariah: The yucca cakes were a bit more interesting. They arrived looking like little chicken parmesan hockey pucks. They were golden deep fried yucca cakes covered in a thin tomato sauce and topped with a thick sheet of white cheese. They looked damn tasty so I dug in and took a big bite. Boy, that was a mistake. The intense spice of the dish literally exploded in my mouth. As I drank my whole glass of water in a crazed frenzy (the waiter in training being on hand to pour me another) Elena pointed out that the spicy part was the tomato sauce. We all scraped the sauce off the top of our cakes and dug in again (that sounds kind of dirty). Sans super spicy sauce, the yucca cakes were pretty good. The normally fibrous, thick texture of the yucca was a nice creamy texture in the cakes. But at its heart it was still yucca and was pretty bland. I went back to eating cheese bread.

Laura: LOL, actually I ate my tomato sauce and the tomato sauce you scraped off of yours. I thought it was tasty. Yes, a little on the spicy side, but it really complemented the yucca cakes. Without it, I could see how the cakes would taste bland. And remember, I was craving pizza earlier.

Mariah: We chit chatted and girl talked, trying to get each other up to date on our lives (I mean a whole week without talking, so much can happen in a week!). I told them about my awesome, ass kicking weekend: the State Radio show (totally rockin, go see them) on Friday night and drinking at the Gingerman on Saturday night. Elena told us about her boyfriend’s crazy stressful life right now. Poor guy’s been working killer hours and having to deal with a family tragedy too (oh he lives in Italy if you didn’t know). Plus, she’s been totally stressed trying to get all her PhD projects. And Laura told us all about her ski trip to Colorado (I know, she sounds so high-brow).

Laura: Elena and I also ordered a glass of wine each. They were out of Elena’s first choice, but happily recommended something similar to her that she seemed to accept. I thought the wine list was ok. I ended up with a glass of Pinot Noir. They had separate gluten free and vegetarian menus. There were several really satisfying vegetarian choices, including a rice dish with collard green and fried egg. The collard greens sounded appealing, but the fried egg business just reminded me too much of my trip to Switzerland where the vegetarian choice was always Rosti with a fried egg on top. Spend a week eating nothing but potato, egg and cheese and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Just thinking about it made me want a salad. Plus, I already had egg in my drink. So I took a look at the salads and decided to order the Salada de Maca, romaine hearts and baby greens topped with a Burgundy basted apple, stuffed with goat cheese, raisins and pecans and served with a mustard seed dressing. Sounds yummy, doesn’t it?

Mariah: While we chatted, the food arrived. It smelled amazing. Elena and I had both gotten the Xinxim de Galinha con Camarao. Who could pass that up? White fluffy rice and rich green collard greens covered with chicken and shrimp in a coconut cream sauce. It was quite tasty. It reminded me of a Caribbean dish I make from time to time. But that dish involves the liberal usage of dark rum that is flambed. This sauce didn’t taste like that had done that. And while it was a great sauce, it could have used more dimension. They could have used rum or gone truly Brazilian and added strained dried shrimp broth to the sauce. But overall it was very satisfying and I would definitely eat it again.

Laura: I don’t know what I was expecting out of the mustard seed dressing, but I found it to be a little disappointing. The flavor was really powerful and it made my salad feel kind-of dry. Also, there was an ENTIRE cored apple just sitting in the middle of my plate. I cut it up to make it much more manageable. The rest of the salad was very pleasing- the romaine, baby greens, goat cheese pecans and raisins wor