Monday, June 2, 2008

Twin Peaks

701 E. Stassney Lane
Austin, Texas 78745

100 Louis Henna Boulevard
Round Rock, Texas 78664
Phone: 512-238-7325

Have you ever been cursed before? I mean really and truly cursed? I'm talking the kind of metaphysical malediction originating from the occult...all packed with bad ju-ju. I'm talking about being the target of a mal-aligned spiritual energy, the likes of which you only see on afternoon documentaries on the Discovery channel. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I've been cursed. I just know it. I don't know how it came about. I must have slapped a gypsy or cut off a witch doctor in traffic a couple of weeks ago, but something strange and supernatural has been happening to me. (For any gypsies or witch doctors reading this, I mean no offense here. So, no need to retaliate against damnation at a time is plenty, thank you.) What's really bothersome, though, is that I think it might have been someone I know because the effects of this spell have been so personal---hitting me right where it my dining experience.

Let me back up a couple of steps. A couple of weeks ago, Mariah and Laura gave me an opportunity to guest blog about a somewhat bad dining experience I had at Ms. B's here in Austin. Little did I know that was just the beginning of things. Since then, eating out about 4 times a week, I have had nothing but incredibly bad service at restaurants here in town. Trust me, if there has been a bartender, waitress, hostess, manager, table busser, or cook who was a trainee, having an off day, or was just dumped by her boyfriend; you can bet your butt that person was going to somehow be involved with my dining experience. The effects have ranged from small to large. From being double charged for entrees to given the wrong order to having my order lost altogether. I've seen it all lately. Hell, on two occasions, I've even had the hostess give away my table to another party AFTER seating my son and myself. There was one humorous occasion where I had ordered a salad. I was served the wrong one and kindly asked my waitress to correct the order. She brought me back the same salad plate with the correct salad order simply layered over the wrong one. If that isn't the sign of some weird restaurant-based jinx, I don't know what is.

Well, the curse reared it's ugly head again last night. My kiddo and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie with my buddy Bo. (Great movie, by the way). It was about dinner time after the flick, so we decided to go grab something to eat. Bo deferred the selection to me given my foodie status. So, after carefully accounting for the tastes of who was going, the time, and location, I chose Twin Peaks in Round Rock. I'd like to say that I just made a bad choice, but with this jinx hanging over me, I just can't be sure...

Austin and I get to this restaurant before Bo and are seated immediately. Let's cover the restaurant itself first. It's very much a Hooters-esque type of estabishment. Lots of gorgeous (and not so gorgeous) waitresses in short shorts and plaid tops tied just below the bustline. I'm not typically one to notice someone's shoes, but they were all wearing furry bootlike shoes...I guess to compliment the restaurant's mountaineer type lumberjack theme. Since I had arrived before Bo, I had a few minutes to check out other qualities of the restaurant. The music selection played over the speaker system was decent...mostly 80's top 40 type stuff, but it was almost uncomfortably loud. They've also got free wireless there, too.

Well, enough about that. Onto the curse. My waitress stopped by to take drink orders for Austin and myself. I simply order a Coke for him and a Dr. Pepper for myself. Minutes later, she brings back Austin's soda and says, "I'm sorry. I don't remember what you ordered." I know. I know. With the curse going on, I should have taken this as a sign to leave. But, for some reason, I thought that was as bad as it was going to get. Nope. Time to order food. I asked for the Kid's Nachos for Austin and the Sirloin Chili Nachos for myself. 5 minutes later, the waitress brings Austin's order and says, "I'm sorry. I don't remember what you ordered." OMG!!!! Are you kidding me?!?!? It was at this point that Bo showed up to discover a smiling Austin eating away and me with my face buried in my palms.

My next request was a new waitress to whom I explained the situation of the curse and told her how I had ordered a kids nacho for a Sirloin Chili Nacho. This young lady was quite nice and very eager to help right any wrongs. But, alas. She was just another mere mortal doing battle with an unseen and unimaginable force. The poor girl never even knew what happened.

The menu listed two types of soup, which Bo ordered one of each...a bowl of each. He ordered the Sirloin Chili and the Corn Chowder. Our new waitress brought him 2 different soups of the wrong size. Great. The spell is no longer just affecting me, but it's decided to badger my dining companions as well. On the bright side, Bo said the Corn Chowder was great. His preference is for a thicker soup and he didn't find the soup too watery for his tastes. The Sirloin Chili on the other hand, had great flavor he said, but he was really expecting large chunks of sirloin, not something with more the texture of ground beef. Still, he gave it a thumbs up.

I did eventually get what I wanted, but I couldn't eat too much of it. It wasn't that the food was bad. I had just loaded myself up on a second order of the kids meal (that showed up unannounced somewhere along the course of the meal) and I was pretty full by then.

Mariah and Laura, I'm sorry ladies, but I am not going to give this restaurant a rating at this time. I couldn't in good conscience rate this place while I'm still fairly convinced that the service I experienced was due to an unexplained cult phenomenon. I will say that the food (that I got to experience) was of a decent caliber for this type of restaurant. I will also add that I'll be going back once this hex has been broken. In the meantime, I'll be stockpiling lucky rabbit's feet, avoiding black cats and walking under ladders like the plague, and might even consider weaving myself a necklace out of wolfsbane and garlic. I don't plan to let any mirrors within a football field's length of my person; will keep an eye out for any pennies heads up; and if I have anything to say about it, the upcoming Friday the 13th will find me curled in a fetal position in my bathtub covered with blankets rather than venturing out for food and drink.

Bottom line: Never eat out when there's some strange curse affecting you. It's just bad mojo.
Lee - ??

OK, as I mentioned in my latest comment below, I feel that my curse is finally over. I still don't know what caused it or how I ended it, but I'm not going to question it. I feel that I can finally venture forth in Austin again to enjoy the great food and restaurants that our wonderful city has to offer. Of course, it doesn't mean that I'm still not going to be wary. I plan to be on the best of terms with any supernatural entity I should meet from here on out. Now, I have been back to the Twin Peaks in Round Rock since the spell got lifted, and I'm able to give a rating. I rate it with a 4.5. Mediocre service and food. Thanks to my anonymous friend from the comments, though, I've decided that in order to give this place a really objective opinion, I'll have to hit the South Austin location sooner or later....